A readable rendering of the tales in prose. My first reading of the Canterbury Tales. Good stuff!
Quotes:
When the soft sweet showers of April reach the roots of all things, refreshing the parched earth, nourishing every sapling and every seedling, then humankind rises up in joy and expectation.
After the waste of winter it is delightful to hear birdsong once more in the streets. The trees themselves are bathed in song. It is a time of renewal, of general restoration.
On our way to Canterbury each of you will tell two stories. As every traveller knows, tales shorten journeys. Then on the way back to London, each pilgrim will tell two more. [...] The pilgrim who tells the best story, by common consent, will be awarded a free supper paid for by the rest.
‘Why do so many people complain of the actions of providence, or the decisions of God Himself, when their eventual fate is better than any they could possibly have imagined? Some men long for riches, but at the expense of their health and even of their lives. Some men desire to escape from prison, as I once did, only to be murdered in the households of their kin. In hope and ambition there lie infinite harms. We do not know the answers to our prayers.
We fare as one who wanders drunk through the streets; he knows that he has a house, somewhere, but he cannot remember the name of the street. His is a long and wayward journey. So do we fare in this fallen world. We search for felicity down every lane and alley, but often enough we take the wrong path.
‘The whole world is an inn,’ our Host said. ‘And the end of the journey is always the same.’
His wife came from a noble family, and her father was the parson of the town.
I really do not know a tale that Geoffrey Chaucer has not already told.
I hope that none of you priests and nuns will be angry with me, but I must say this. We have been given our private parts for pleasure as well as necessity. We must procreate as well as pee, within the limits set by God.
So I tell you all this. You must pay for what you want. Everything in this world is for sale. An empty hand lures no hawk.
F--- you, Friar!
That is why there are no more fairies. The friars now tread upon the elvish paths, morning and evening, saying their matins and their other holy offices; where there were once pixies there are now prayers. Of course a woman can feel much safer, knowing that there won’t be an evil spirit beneath a bush or tree. She may meet a friar, of course. But he will take only her chastity, not her soul.
There is one thing I can say for certain, sirs and dames. If two lovers want to remain in love, they had better accede to each other’s wishes. Love will not be constrained by domination.
Patience is a great virtue and, as the scholars tell us, will accomplish what the exercise of power never can achieve.
Many sermons, and devotional homilies, spring from bad intentions.
You know well enough that a woman wants six things. I am no different. She wants a husband to be healthy and wise, wealthy and generous; she wants him to be obedient to his wife, and good in bed. Just those six things. Is that too much to ask?
Forgive me, Mr Chaucer. I must speak my mind. Your story is not worth a s---. What is the point of it?
I am tired of stories about patient wives. They do not exist.
‘Well, sir,’ our Host said to the Nun’s Priest. ‘Blessed be your bum and balls!
‘One Lord. One faith. One God. One Christendom. One father who rules over heaven and earth.’
Do you see how this villain lured his prey? He granted the priest a favour the priest had not asked for. That kind of favour bodes no good.
But all precautions are useless. A good wife, innocent in thought and deed, should not be watched or doubted; if the wife is not so good, you cannot hold her down. I take it as a law that you cannot restrain a woman who wants to roam. Every writer concurs on that subject.
In the same way there is no difference between a usurping tyrant and a thief or outlaw. They are exactly the same. Alexander the Great was once told that a tyrant who burns down homes, slaughters his enemies and destroys land is acclaimed as a great general and leader; a small-time thief who does not have armies, and who can only rob a few houses without doing much damage, is damned as a rogue and criminal.
So take heed of this story and remember to think before you speak. Guard your tongue. Never tell a man that his wife has been unfaithful to him. Whether you are right or wrong, he will hate you for it.
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