Welcome to my commonplace blog

The goal of this blog is to preserve a few ideas and quotes from books I read. In the old days when books were not so readily available, people kept "commonplace books" where they copied choice passages they wanted to be able to remember and perhaps reuse. The idea got picked up by V.F.D. and it's common knowledge that most of that organization's volunteers have kept commonplace books, and so have Laura and I.

I'm sure there are many other Internet sites and blogs dedicated to the same idea. But this one is mine. Feel free to look around and leave comments, but not spam.

14 November 2013

Unnatural Creatures: Stories Selected by Neil Gaiman

Good collection of stories.


Quotes:

In this way it was discovered that the wasp nests of Yiwei, dipped in hot water, unfurled into beautifully accurate maps of provinces near and far, inked in vegetable pigments and labeled in careful Mandarin that could be distinguished beneath a microscope.

By the sheerest of accidents, one of the bees trained as a cartographer’s assistant was an anarchist.

The gods need human beings in order to be gods!

This was a body blow. It messed up utterly his notions about gods needing men to believe in them.

The palace stood in a great green park, dotted with white-flowered maybushes. It was not at all like an English palace—St. James’s or Buckingham Palace, for instance—because it was very beautiful and very clean.

“Oh, my poor child,” said the King; “your maid has turned into an Automatic Machine.”

Your maid has turned into an Automatic Nagging Machine.

“There are times,” said Amos, “when it is better to know only the reward and not the dangers.”

The moral of the story is: you can’t see anything unless you look at it inside another skin.

You’re Woof-woof.”

“Fools,” said Ozymandias, “know a great deal which the wise do not. There are werewolves. There always have been, and quite probably always will be.” He spoke as calmly and assuredly as though he were mentioning that the earth was round. “And there are three infallible physical signs: the meeting of eyebrows, the long index finger, the hairy palms. You have all three. And even your name is an indication. Family names do not come from nowhere. Every Smith has an ancestor somewhere who was a smith. Every Fisher comes from a family that once fished. And your name is Wolf.”

But, hell! Wolfe Wolf was no longer primarily a scholar. He was a werewolf now, a white-magic werewolf, a werewolf-for-fun; and fun he was going to have.

“Not quite. For every kind of merchandise there’s a market. The trick is to find it. And you, colleague, are going to be the first practical commercial werewolf on record.”

Let it be known that on this one night no one in the world will die, for Death will be dancing at Lady Neville’s ball.”

29 October 2013

Hallucinations (Oliver Sacks)

I delayed reading this thinking it would freak me out (and it did, some). But it's another amazing book from Oliver Sacks. He's surprisingly honest and descriptive about his experimentation (in the 1960s) with mind-altering drugs, for one thing. His ability to describe mundane and unusual situations brought by altered mind states is so sharp, that it's like reading good literature.


Quotes:

Talking to oneself is basic to human beings, for we are a linguistic species; the great Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky thought that “inner speech” was a prerequisite of all voluntary activity.

My first pot experience was marked by a mix of the neurological and the divine.

All of these effects seem to show, by default, what a colossal and complicated achievement normal vision is, as the brain constructs a visual world in which color and movement and size and form and stability are all seamlessly meshed and integrated.

Do the arabesques and hexagons in our own minds, built into our brain organization, provide us with our first intimations of formal beauty?

One does not see with the eyes; one sees with the brain, which has dozens of different systems for analyzing the input from the eyes.

The “mare” in “nightmare” originally referred to a demonic woman who suffocated sleepers by lying on their chests (she was called “Old Hag” in Newfoundland).

if Piaget is right, children cannot consistently and confidently distinguish fantasy from reality, inner from outer worlds, until the age of seven or so.

have never had an OBE myself, but I was once involved in a remarkably simple experiment which showed me how easily one’s sense of self can be detached from one’s body and “reembodied” in a robot

I have never had an OBE myself, but I was once involved in a remarkably simple experiment which showed me how easily one’s sense of self can be detached from one’s body and “reembodied” in a robot

the brain’s representation of the body can often be fooled simply by scrambling the inputs from different senses. If sight and touch say one thing, however absurd, even a lifetime of proprioception and a stable body image cannot always resist this.

"Who Could That Be at This Hour?" (All the Wrong Questions) (Lemony Snicket)

A re-read. I liked this more on the second time!


Quotes:

I should have asked the question “Why would someone say something was stolen when it was never theirs to begin with?” Instead, I asked the wrong question—four wrong questions, more or less. This is the account of the first.

“Here’s a tip,” I said. “Next time you’re at the library, check out a book about a champion of the world.” “By that author with all the chocolate?” “Yes, but this one’s even better. It has some very good chapters in it.”

“Adults never tell children anything.” “Children never tell adults anything either,” I said. “The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drift near each other when we need a ride from someone or when someone needs us to wash our hands.”

describing me as somebody who was an excellent reader, a good cook, a mediocre musician, and an awful quarreler.

The butler was standing on the lawn, facing away from us with a bowl of seeds he was throwing to some noisy birds. They whistled to him, and he whistled back, mimicking their calls exactly.

“The Mallahans and the Sallises have been friends for generations,”

I used to be that young man, almost thirteen, walking alone down an empty street in a half-faded town. I used to be that person, eating stale peanuts and wondering about a strange, dusty item that was stolen or forgotten and that belonged to one family or another or their enemies or their friends. Before that I was a child receiving an unusual education, and before that I was a baby who, I’m told, liked looking in mirrors and sticking his toes into his mouth. I used to be that young man, and that child, and that baby, and the building I stood in front of used to be a city hall. Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except perhaps a few books on a few shelves.

“Dame Sally Murphy is probably Stain’d-by-the-Sea’s most famous actress,”

Bombinating Beast

“Do you have a bulb of garlic, a lemon, a cup of walnuts, Parmesan cheese, pasta of some kind, and a fair amount of olive oil?” “I think so,” Moxie said, “although I think the cheese might be Asiago.” “Even better,”

two small hats I’d seen on the heads of Frenchmen in old photographs, both dirty, both worn, and both the color of a raspberry.

The entire statue was hollow, I realized, and for a moment I wondered if it had been carved to fit over a candle, so that the fire might shine through the eyes and mouth to create an eerie effect.

I turned it over to look at the base of the statue, which had a strange slit cut into the wood. There was a small, thick piece of paper pasted over the slit like a patch. The paper patch felt curious to the touch, like the paper wrappings on cookies in the bakery.

So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. It’s nothing to brag about.

Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it.

There’s an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.

There was a small box marked MEDICAL SUPPLIES addressed to a Dr. Flammarion.

There was a long tube marked ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT addressed to nothing more than a pair of initials that were unfamiliar.

“Because I like you, Mr. Snicket,” she said. “I thought you might find this place interesting, even if you don’t drink coffee.”

“If it’s a secret, why are you telling me?” “Because I like you, Ms. Feint,” I admitted. “I thought you might find it interesting.”

17 October 2013

American Saint:Francis Asbury and the Methodists (John Wigger)

Very well written, well researched and readable book about a very important person in American history.


Quotes:

Asbury had spent most of the past two years lying low at a friend’s in Delaware, fearing for his life because of his association with John Wesley, the founder of Methodism in England and no friend of the revolution.

He led a wanderer’s life of voluntary poverty and intense introspection. The church and the nation ultimately disappointed him, but his faith never did. Asbury embodies Methodism’s greatest successes and its most wrenching failures.

Of John Wesley’s licensed missionaries to the colonies, Asbury was the only one who stayed through the American Revolution as a Methodist preacher.

Asbury is seldom remembered as an important American religious leader because he didn’t exert influence in ways that we expect. Key figures in American religious history are generally lumped into three camps: charismatic communicators, such as George Whitefield, Charles Finney, or Billy Graham; intellectuals, such as Jonathan Edwards or Reinhold Niebuhr; and domineering autocrats—the way in which Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormons, is often depicted.

Asbury communicated his vision for Methodism in four enduring ways that came to define much of evangelical culture in America. The first was through his legendary piety and perseverance, rooted in a classically evangelical conversion experience.

The second way that Asbury communicated his vision was through his ability to connect with ordinary people.

The third conduit of Asbury’s vision was the way that he understood and used popular culture.

Yet cultural accommodation exacted a price, the clearest example of which was the presence of slavery in the church, a reality that he tacitly accepted, but which haunted him for the last thirty years of his life.

As long as they were poor, most Methodists agreed with Asbury that wealth was a snare. But as Methodists became generally more prosperous, they became less concerned about the dangers of wealth, much to Asbury’s dismay.

By the end of his career he was largely out of step with the church that he was so instrumental in creating. This, in the end, seemed to him a great tragedy.

The fourth way that Asbury communicated his message was through his organization of the Methodist church.

Under Asbury, the typical American itinerant rode a predominantly rural circuit 200 to 500 miles in circumference, typically with twenty-five to thirty preaching appointments per round. He completed the circuit every two to six weeks, with the standard being a four weeks’ circuit of 400 miles.

He once told Boehm “that the equipment of a Methodist minister consisted of a horse, saddle and bridle, one suit of clothes, a watch, a pocket Bible, and a hymn book. Anything else would be an encumbrance.”

Asbury was a transitional figure in the development of American religion, promoting the separation of religious leadership from wealth and formal education.

Asbury wasn’t an intellectual, charismatic performer or autocrat, but his understanding of what it meant to be pious, connected, culturally aware, and effectively organized redefined religious leadership in America.

The bands were intended for those seeking a higher level of commitment. While all Methodists were required to attend a class meeting, joining a band was voluntary. The only qualification for joining a class meeting on probation (which usually lasted three to six months) was a desire to seek salvation. To remain in a class, one only had to profess a continued desire for holiness. Bands demanded something more. They assumed that members were already converted (justified) and were seeking sanctification.

Over time, the distinction between the two meetings became imprecise and classes largely replaced bands.

Methodists realized that only by replacing one community with another could they bring about lasting change. They couldn’t simply demand that believers give up popular recreations and pastimes. Bands and class meetings replaced the alehouse (like the one Asbury grew up next to) while public preaching and eventually (in America) camp meetings took the place of fairs and dances.

“Scream no more, at the peril of your soul,” John Wesley wrote to King in July 1775. “Speak as earnestly as you can, but do not scream. Speak with your heart, but with a moderate voice.”

Under Rankin’s direction, the conference called on all Methodists to attend an Anglican Church to receive the sacraments, and urged the preachers “in a particular manner to press the people in Maryland and Virginia to the observance of this minute.” Asbury didn’t even bother to include this rule in his journal account, realizing that it was only wishful thinking.

“I let you loose, George, on the great continent of America,” Wesley wrote to Shadford just before he embarked for the colonies. “Publish your message in the open face of the sun, and do all the good you can.”42

He had little access to doctors in the South, which is just as good considering what they often did to their patients.

The southern revival of 1773 to 1776 is important for two reasons. First, it created a model of Methodist expansion that Asbury and others followed for nearly forty years. Second, it hastened a transition in Asbury’s thinking, defining his willingness to accept a more interactive, American version of Methodism, even if it bordered on enthusiasm.

At the outset, it wasn’t obvious that John Wesley would take a strong stand on the war. He had long advised his preachers to avoid meddling in politics. “It is your part to be peace-makers, to be loving and tender to all, but to addict yourselves to no party,” he wrote to Thomas Rankin in March 1775. It also wasn’t obvious early on that Wesley would oppose the American position.

The American patriots, according to Charles, were guilty of conducting the war By burnings, ravages, and rapes,And villainy in a thousand shapes

Wesley was an Oxford-educated clergyman and gentleman who saw it as his duty to uphold church and king. For Wesley, republicanism undercut the essential social hierarchy that supported the moral order of the universe. Asbury had come to the more American view that the old order was inherently flawed, a human invention, and not a very good one at that.

For Asbury, faith and politics were never connected in the way they were for Wesley. All human governments were corrupt, and none deserved absolute allegiance.

Despite these distractions, he settled into a routine that included reading about a hundred pages a day, praying five times a day in public, preaching in the open air every other day, and lecturing in prayer meetings every evening.

By 1779, Asbury’s opposition to slavery had become so strident that when his journals were first published in their entirety in 1821, the editors removed some of his more vivid denunciations.

Methodists weren’t part of the earliest protests against slavery, either in America or England. By the war years this began to change as Methodists joined a growing number of Americans and Britons in the belief that slavery was a great moral evil, radically at odds with the word of God.

A few weeks later, in North Carolina, he reflected that “there are many things that are painful to me, but cannot yet be removed, especially slave-keeping, and its attendant circumstances. The Lord will certainly hear the cries of the oppressed, naked, starving creatures. O! my God, think on this land.”

“We must suffer with, if we labour for the poor,” he wrote to Wesley

The end of the war and Wesley’s own advancing years (he turned eighty in 1783) led him finally in 1784 to take a decisive step. In that year, he legally incorporated Methodism and began ordaining preachers with his own hands. He hoped by these measures to maintain some kind of direct control over American Methodism and keep the American movement broadly within the Anglican tradition.

Wesley designed the Deed of Declaration to protect Methodist property and insure that the movement would go on by legally incorporating a conference of one hundred preachers to take over after he and his brother Charles were gone.

More important from the American perspective was Wesley’s decision to ordain Methodist preachers.

Early in his career, Wesley was so horrified at the prospect of lay preachers administering the sacraments that he told the 1760 Conference “He himself would rather commit murder than administer the Lord’s Supper without ordination.”

American Methodists were now “totally disentangled both from the State and from the English hierarchy,

The preachers gathered in Baltimore voted unanimously to form an independent church, free of all ties to the Church of England, and elected Coke and Asbury superintendents of the new body.

On successive days Asbury was ordained deacon, elder, and superintendent. He had two reasons for insisting on an election, rather than simply receiving Wesley’s ordination. First, election gave him a measure of authority and legitimacy not mediated through Wesley. From this point on, he served at the pleasure of the American conference. Wesley couldn’t recall him to Britain, as he had tried to do during the war, or appoint someone to supersede him without the approval of the American preachers. Second, Asbury understood the importance of elections in American society.

At several points in his sermon Coke announced that he had come to ordain Asbury “a Christian bishop,” setting, from the beginning, a precedent for replacing the title “superintendent” with “bishop.”

It was clear to the preachers gathered in Baltimore that they were establishing an episcopal polity completely independent from the Church of England, and, ultimately, from Wesley himself. Coke would later have second thoughts, deciding that he had pushed things too far in this first wave of exuberance. But for the church as a whole, there would be no turning back.

Democracy and episcopacy weren’t easily reconciled, but for the moment Asbury and the preachers wanted the advantages of both.

When Charles heard of Coke’s ordination of Asbury, he responded sarcastically in verse: A Roman emperor,’tis said,His favourite horse a consul made:But Coke brings greater things to pass—He makes a bishop of an ass.

The pro-slavery petitioners argued that the American Revolution had been fought primarily to secure the right to private property, not, as the Methodist petitions claimed, to secure “liberty” for all “mankind.”

“How can you, how dare you suffer yourself to be called Bishop?” he wrote to Asbury, addressing him as “my dear Franky,” when he learned of the change. “I shudder, I start at the very thought! Men may call me a knave or a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, and I am content; but they shall never by my consent call me Bishop! For my sake, for God’s sake, for Christ’s sake put a full end to this!”

Despite its growth, Methodism remained a poor person’s church.

Methodists believed that remaining free of debt was a moral responsibility,

Fifty years later, as Methodists helped create the American middle class, they became avid college builders, founding more than two hundred schools and colleges between 1830 and 1860.

The only acceptable course was to live in a state of voluntary poverty, or as close to it as decency allowed.

he clung to the practice of paying all of the preachers the same salary ($64 a year), whether probationers or bishops.

In general Methodists admired Asbury’s financial restraint, but there were differences in the way that most viewed the problem of wealth. A life of voluntary poverty may have seemed ideal to Asbury and preachers like William Watters, but most Methodists hoped to do better. In their minds the root problem wasn’t wealth, only how it was used. The gentry led immoral lives because they were corrupt at heart, with or without their money. Prosperity held its own dangers to be sure, but most Methodists dearly hoped that they would have the chance to prove that wealth and piety could be successfully combined.

One measure of the church’s success was that it now had to deal with pretenders. By 1792 there were at least three cases of “infamous imposters” traveling through the country from Virginia to New York with forged preaching licenses, pocketing offerings, and in one case marrying “a young woman of a reputable family,” even though the impostor already had a wife.

There had been little for Methodists to fight over in 1780. They had largely overlooked internal disputes in the interests of survival. But by 1790 the church had acquired enough resources and stability that those dissatisfied with Asbury’s leadership no longer felt constrained to hold their tongues and wait.2

“When men become rich, they sometimes forget that they are Methodists.”

Coke could hardly have brought more serious charges against Asbury. In effect, he accused Asbury of figuratively stabbing Wesley in the back and literally hastening his death, crimes worthy, Coke declared, of eternal damnation.27

Much of Glendinning’s story—a humble family background, limited education, apprenticeship at a trade, a restless spirit and thirst for travel, supernatural visions and prophetic dreams, a dramatic conversion, and a quick transition from convert to preacher—resembled that of most Methodist preachers.

“I have one rule, not to do great things in haste; another, not to act at a distance, when I can come near,”

Preaching was “his element, his life, he could not live long without,”

Like all Methodist preachers, in his delivery Asbury relied “much on the divine influence,” according to Boehm. Once, when Samuel Thomas stood to begin his sermon, Asbury, who was sitting nearby, tugged at Thomas’s sleeve, whispering to him, “Feel for the power, feel for the power, brother.” Any Methodist preacher would have understood what this meant. It was advice that Asbury himself tried to follow, though not always successfully.

Asbury saw himself as a sort of Methodist George Washington. In the popular imagination Washington was austere, disinterested, standing above the fray of petty partisanship, concerned only for the welfare of his country, qualities that Asbury hoped others saw in him with regard to the church.

Where northerners, like Ezekiel Cooper, still hoped to force an end to slaveholding among Methodists, Jenkins-style southerners hoped only to work within the system, converting as many slaves as possible but taking no interest in their emancipation. To Cooper, slaveholding was a sin that no expediency could justify; for Jenkins, any hint of abolitionism meant an end to the church in the South. Asbury agonized over this conundrum for the rest of his life, unable to find a way out.

He was so well known that letters from Europe could be sent to him “in any publick town or city upon the continent,” addressed simply to “Francis Asbury.”

And yet Asbury couldn’t and wouldn’t allow himself to relax. The Methodist way of salvation demanded that one push on to the very end; there could be no rest short of the eternal rest of death. Eventually something had to give, either when his health failed or the church changed under his feet, demanding a new style of leadership.

Disease was a product of God’s providence, sent to test one’s faith. Early Methodists rarely prayed for divine healing, a concept that would only gain prominence in America with the Mormons in the mid-nineteenth century and in the late nineteenth-century Holiness and Pentecostal movements.

As they developed in the 1780s and 1790s, quarterly meetings came to have a well-defined pattern. Fridays were observed as a day of fasting in preparation for the meeting. Preaching began Saturday morning and continued till early afternoon, when the business session convened. Here preachers and local leaders met to deal with disciplinary cases, license local preachers and exhorters, make recommendations to the annual conference, and discuss finances and other administrative concerns. Preaching continued Saturday night, followed by prayer meetings in nearby homes. Sunday morning began with a love feast, followed by sermons and exhortations from the presiding elder and circuit preachers. The sacraments of baptism and the Lord’s Supper followed either at the close of the morning service or in the afternoon. Sunday evening concluded with more preaching, singing, and praying.

Asbury had always believed that poverty and suffering were allies of true spirituality.

He had to wonder how much of real substance was left for him to do. Was he already a quaint relic of the past in his own church? It wasn’t yet clear, but he had a suspicion which way things were headed.

Methodism wasn’t a personality cult; it was more of a culture.

Connecting with old friends was another expression of Asbury’s understanding of what Methodism was. He had always put people before ideas, had always been more concerned with maintaining the church’s connectional nature than with formulating a systematic theology.

Here was the church’s senior bishop, emaciated, poor, and suffering, begging for those in need. Poverty was nothing to be ashamed of, just the opposite. Social pretension was the enemy of true religion, of this Asbury remained sure.

There was no blueprint for what he did, for building a large, strictly voluntary religious movement led by non-elites in a pluralistic society. Yet his understanding of what it meant to be pious, connected, culturally responsive, and effectively organized has worked its way deep into the fabric of American religious life. If ever there was an American saint, it was Francis Asbury.

He simply believed in a God who transcended this world.

15 October 2013

Redwall (Brian Jacques)


Quotes:

“Ah yes, I see the most beautiful summer morning of my life. The friends I know and love are all about me. Redwall, our home, is safe. The sun shines warmly upon us. Nature is ready to yield her bounty again in plenty this autumn. I have seen it all before, many times, and yet I never cease to wonder. Life is good, my friends. I leave it to you. Do not be sad, for mine is a peaceful rest.”

04 October 2013

The Jungle (Upton Sinclair)


Quotes:

Bit by bit these poor people have given up everything else; but to this they cling with all the power of their souls—they cannot give up the veselija! To do that would mean, not merely to be defeated, but to acknowledge defeat—and the difference between these two things is what keeps the world going.

The veselija has come down to them from a far-off time; and the meaning of it was that one might dwell within the cave and gaze upon shadows, provided only that once in his lifetime he could break his chains, and feel his wings, and behold the sun; provided that once in his lifetime he might testify to the fact that life, with all its cares and its terrors, is no such great thing after all, but merely a bubble upon the surface of a river, a thing that one may toss about and play with as a juggler tosses his golden balls, a thing that one may quaff, like a goblet of rare red wine. Thus having known himself for the master of things, a man could go back to his toil and live upon the memory all his days.

In these chutes the stream of animals was continuous; it was quite uncanny to watch them, pressing on to their fate, all unsuspicious a very river of death. Our friends were not poetical, and the sight suggested to them no metaphors of human destiny; they thought only of the wonderful efficiency of it all.

nobody rose in Packingtown by doing good work. You could lay that down for a rule—if you met a man who was rising in Packingtown, you met a knave.

One of the first consequences of the discovery of the union was that Jurgis became desirous of learning English.

Yet the soul of Ona was not dead—the souls of none of them were dead, but only sleeping; and now and then they would waken, and these were cruel times. The gates of memory would roll open—old joys would stretch out their arms to them, old hopes and dreams would call to them, and they would stir beneath the burden that lay upon them, and feel its forever immeasurable weight. They could not even cry out beneath it; but anguish would seize them, more dreadful than the agony of death. It was a thing scarcely to be spoken—a thing never spoken by all the world, that will not know its own defeat.

They were beaten; they had lost the game, they were swept aside. It was not less tragic because it was so sordid, because it had to do with wages and grocery bills and rents. They had dreamed of freedom; of a chance to look about them and learn something; to be decent and clean, to see their child grow up to be strong. And now it was all gone—it would never be! They had played the game and they had lost.

Jurgis felt that these men were out of touch with the life they discussed, that they were unfitted to solve its problems; nay, they themselves were part of the problem—they were part of the order established that was crushing men down and beating them! They were of the triumphant and insolent possessors; they had a hall, and a fire, and food and clothing and money, and so they might preach to hungry men, and the hungry men must be humble and listen! They were trying to save their souls—and who but a fool could fail to see that all that was the matter with their souls was that they had not been able to get a decent existence for their bodies?

Part of the saloon-keeper’s business was to offer a home and refreshments to beggars in exchange for the proceeds of their foragings

Horse racing had once been a sport, but nowadays it was a business;

Not long after this, Jurgis, wearying of the risks and vicissitudes of miscellaneous crime, was moved to give up the career for that of a politician.

“You want to know more about Socialism?”

You might say that there was really but one Socialist principle—that of “no compromise,” which was the essence of the proletarian movement all over the world.

So far, the rule in America had been that one Socialist made another Socialist once every two years; and if they should maintain the same rate they would carry the country in 1912—though not all of them expected to succeed as quickly as that.

Schliemann called himself a “philosophic anarchist”; and he explained that an anarchist was one who believed that the end of human existence was the free development of every personality, unrestricted by laws save those of its own being.

First, that a Socialist believes in the common ownership and democratic management of the means of producing the necessities of life; and, second, that a Socialist believes that the means by which this is to be brought about is the class conscious political organization of the wage-earners.

“Bravo!” cried Schliemann, laughing. But the other was in full career—he had talked this subject every day for five years, and had never yet let himself be stopped. “This Jesus of Nazareth!” he cried. “This class-conscious working-man! This union carpenter! This agitator, law-breaker, firebrand, anarchist! He, the sovereign lord and master of a world which grinds the bodies and souls of human beings into dollars—if he could come into the world this day and see the things that men have made in his name, would it not blast his soul with horror?

To Lucas, the religious zealot, the co-operative commonwealth was the New Jerusalem, the kingdom of Heaven, which is “within you.” To the other, Socialism was simply a necessary step toward a far-distant goal, a step to be tolerated with impatience.

Since the same kind of match would light every one’s fire and the same-shaped loaf of bread would fill every one’s stomach, it would be perfectly feasible to submit industry to the control of a majority vote. There was only one earth, and the quantity of material things was limited. Of intellectual and moral things, on the other hand, there was no limit, and one could have more without another’s having less; hence “Communism in material production, anarchism in intellectual,” was the formula of modern proletarian thought.

25 September 2013

Have Space Suit - Will Travel (Robert A. Heinlein)

Read with Laura!


Quotes:

Money problems can always be solved by a man not frightened by them.

“There is no such thing as luck; there is only adequate or inadequate preparation to cope with a statistical universe.

I had sent in five thousand seven hundred and eighty-two slogans.

The Mother Thing

05 September 2013

Saturday the Rabbi Went Hungry (A Rabbi Small Mystery) (Harry Kemelman)


Quotes:

It is perhaps simplistic, but nevertheless indicative, that our equivalent of “Give us this day our daily bread” is “Blessed art thou, O Lord, for bringing forth bread from the earth.”

Of necessity, since there were so few of us, it was set up as a Conservative synagogue so that the few older members who were likely to be Orthodox on the one hand and the Reform on the other, would not feel the service too strange.

“Do you think that the regulations–to pray, to keep the Sabbath, to fast on Yom Kippur–do you think these are good-luck charms?” the rabbi said. “God also gave you a mind to reason with and to use to protect the life He entrusted to your care.”

“Mr. Goralsky,” said the rabbi earnestly, “man was created in God’s image. So to disregard the health of the body that was entrusted to our care, God’s image, Mr. Goralsky, this is a serious sin.

When you accumulate the kind of money they have, you’re prepared to give some of it away. It’s expected of you. It goes with your status like Continentals and a uniformed chauffeur.

Anyone born of a Jewish mother, not father if you please, is automatically considered Jewish, provided”–he paused to emphasize the point–“that he has not repudiated his religion by conversion to another religion or by public disclaimer.”

I’ve never known a heavy drinker, what is apt to be called an alcoholic these days, I’ve never known one of them to commit suicide.

“It doesn’t say much about death,” she remarked, “Just praises God.

“Well, we believe in luck, you know.” “I suppose everyone does to some degree.” “No, I mean we believe in a way you Christians don’t. Your various doctrines–that God observes the fall of every sparrow, that you can change your misfortune by prayer–it all implies that when someone has bad luck he deserves it. But we believe in luck. That is, we believe it is possible for the truly good man to be unlucky, and vice versa. That’s one of the lessons we are taught by the Book of Job.

“Remember, Rabbi, just to put up a building, should be a building–this is foolish. Better in this place should be God’s grass and flowers.”

27 August 2013

The Book Thief (Markus Zusak)

A book about important topics, such as suffering, promises and friendship. Somehow i didn't like it. Not my style, perhaps.


Quotes:

The question is, what color will everything be at that moment when I come for you? What will the sky be saying?

A color will be perched on my shoulder.

To most people, Hans Hubermann was barely visible. An un-special person. Certainly, his painting skills were excellent. His musical ability was better than average. Somehow, though, and I’m sure you’ve met people like this, he was able to appear as merely part of the background, even if he was standing at the front of a line. He was always just there. Not noticeable. Not important or particularly valuable.

When he turned the light on in the small, callous washroom that night, Liesel observed the strangeness of her foster father’s eyes. They were made of kindness, and silver. Like soft silver, melting. Liesel, upon seeing those eyes, understood that Hans Hubermann was worth a lot.

“Schiller Strasse,” Rudy said. “The road of yellow stars.”

THE BOOK THIEF—LAST LINE I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.

I am haunted by humans.

24 August 2013

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle: A Novel (Vintage International) (Haruki Murakami)

The life of a very settled Japanese man slowly spins into weirdness after his cat disappears. Cool, weird, and somewhat unsatisfactory as the pieces of the puzzle don't really fit together.


Quotes:

There was a small stand of trees nearby, and from it you could hear the mechanical cry of a bird that sounded as if it were winding a spring. We called it the wind-up bird. Kumiko gave it the name.

Going out to work can be tough, not something sweet and peaceful like picking the prettiest rose in your garden for your sick grandmother and spending the day with her, two streets away. Sometimes you have to do unpleasant things with unpleasant people, and the chance to call home never comes up.

“Don’t let it bother you. You’re not the only one. Tons of horses die when the moon’s full.”

Only much later did it occur to me that I had found my way into the core of the problem.

I owned a signed copy of Miles Davis’s Sketches of Spain.

I knew the names of all the brothers Karamazov.

“Mr. Okada,” she said, “I believe that you are entering a phase of your life in which many different things will occur. The disappearance of your cat is only the beginning.”

“I do have one small bit of information that I can share with you,” Malta Kano said, looking down at me, after she had put on her red hat. “You will find your polka-dot tie, but not in your house.”

So this was how secrets got started, I thought to myself. People constructed them little by little.

It suddenly occurred to me that I had not heard the wind-up bird for quite some time.

“The little things are important, Mr. Wind-Up Bird,”

A certain kind of shittiness, a certain kind of stagnation, a certain kind of darkness, goes on propagating itself with its own power in its own self-contained cycle. And once it passes a certain point, no one can stop it—even if the person himself wants to stop it.”

I have come to think that life is a far more limited thing than those in the midst of its maelstrom realize. The light shines into the act of life for only the briefest moment—perhaps only a matter of seconds. Once it is gone and one has failed to grasp its offered revelation, there is no second chance.

“You see, Mr. Okada, I am a prostitute. I used to be a prostitute of the flesh, but now I am a prostitute of the mind. Things pass through me.”

What we see before us is just one tiny part of the world. We get into the habit of thinking, This is the world, but that’s not true at all. The real world is in a much darker and deeper place than this, and most of it is occupied by jellyfish and things. We just happen to forget all that. Don’t you agree? Two-thirds of the earth’s surface is ocean, and all we can see of it with the naked eye is the surface: the skin. We hardly know anything about what’s underneath the skin.”

In truly deep darkness, all kinds of strange things were possible.

Anything could happen. The possibility is there.

This person, this self, this me, finally, was made somewhere else. Everything had come from somewhere else, and it would all go somewhere else. I was nothing but a pathway for the person known as me.

“Bird as Prophet.”

To know one’s own state is not a simple matter. One cannot look directly at one’s own face with one’s own eyes, for example. One has no choice but to look at one’s reflection in the mirror.

Spending plenty of time on something can be the most sophisticated form of revenge.”

Money had no name, of course. And if it did have a name, it would no longer be money. What gave money its true meaning was its dark-night namelessness, its breathtaking interchangeability.

The Miyawakis’ eldest daughter, a college student at the time, is still missing.

You have now gained access to the program “The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.”

fact may not be truth, and truth may not be factual.

Boris the Manskinner.

“I’m going to take you out of here,” I said, cutting her off. “I’m going to take you home, to the world where you belong, where cats with bent tails live, and there are little backyards, and alarm clocks ring in the morning.” “And how are you going to do that?” the woman asked. “How are you going to take me out of here, Mr. Okada?” “The way they do in the fairy tales,” I said. “By breaking the spell.”

“Goodbye, May Kasahara,” I said. Goodbye, May Kasahara: may there always be something watching over you.

17 August 2013

The Apothecary (Maile Meloy)

Read with Laura. OK, not amazing (to me). Laura liked it. Interesting use of Andrei Sakharov as a fictional character.


14 August 2013

Speaking from Among the Bones: A Flavia de Luce Novel (Alan Bradley)


Quotes:

One thing I have learned about organists is that they have absolutely no sense of humor.

Once out of sight, I trudged upward, recalling that ancient stairs in castles and churches wind in a clockwise direction as you ascend, so that an attacker, climbing the stairs, is forced to hold his sword in his left hand, while the defender, fighting downward, is able to use his right, and usually superior, hand.

That, of course, had been before my dishonorable discharge from the troop. Still, even after all this time, I couldn’t help thinking of Delorna Higginson, and how long it had taken them to make her stop screaming and foaming at the mouth.

I was the eighth dwarf. Sneaky.

WHENEVER I’M A LITTLE blue I think about cyanide, whose color so perfectly reflects my mood.

One aspect of poisons that is often overlooked is the pleasure one takes in gloating over them.

“As was your mother, you have been given the fatal gift of genius. Because of it, your life will not be an easy one—nor must you expect it to be. You must remember always that great gifts come at great cost. Are there any questions?”

“No, sir,” I said, as if I were a sapper being charged with blowing up the enemy lines. “No questions.”

“Please don’t condescend to me, Mr. Sowerby, I’m not a child. Well, actually—strictly speaking, and in the eyes of the law—I suppose I am a child, but still, I resent being treated like one.”

“Funny old thing, isn’t it,” Alf asked, “ ’ow every village has its secrets? Some things just not talked about. Ever noticed that? I ’ave.”

“ ‘The successful organist,’ ” she quoted, “ ‘must have fingers long enough to reach the stops, legs long enough to reach the pedal board, and ears long enough to reach into the lives of every choir member.’ Whanley on the Organ and Its Amenities, chapter thirteen, ‘Management of the Choristers.’

The word “actually,” like its cousin “frankly,” should, by itself, be a tip-off to most people that what is to follow is a blatant lie—but it isn’t.

Why do people always quote Hamlet when they want to seem clever?

“Dangerous killers on the loose!” The words which every amateur sleuth lives in eternal hope of hearing.

I’ll pop in later for tea and questioning.”

In death, split seconds could make the difference between the gallows and a slap on the hand.

06 August 2013

President Barack Obama: The Kindle Singles Interview (Kindle Single) (David Blum)

There isn't much interesting here except for the quotes below.


Quotes:

One of the advantages we have is that we still have family members who are not only middle class, but we've got some family members who are poor. Malia and Sasha have cousins who know what it's like to struggle and know what it's like to have to scrape by

I enjoy teaching. I taught for 10 years. Not full-time, but part-time at the University of Chicago Law School. I could picture myself being a good teacher.

03 August 2013

Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë)


Quotes:

If he loved with all the powers of his puny being, he couldn’t love as much in eighty years as I could in a day.

    ‘She abandoned them under a delusion,’ he answered; ‘picturing in me a hero of romance, and expecting unlimited indulgences from my chivalrous devotion.

Why did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself.

I love my murderer—but yours! How can I?’

I noticed on that occasion how much selfishness there is even in a love like Mr. Linton’s,

    ‘Hush, hush! He’s a human being,’

praying like a Methodist:

Yet, who knows how long you’ll be a stranger? You’re too young to rest always contented, living by yourself; and I some way fancy no one could see Catherine Linton and not love her.

    ‘It is a poor conclusion, is it not?’ he observed, having brooded awhile on the scene he had just witnessed: ‘an absurd termination to my violent exertions? I get levers and mattocks to demolish the two houses, and train myself to be capable of working like Hercules, and when everything is ready and in my power, I find the will to lift a slate off either roof has vanished! My old enemies have not beaten me; now would be the precise time to revenge myself on their representatives: I could do it; and none could hinder me. But where is the use? I don’t care for striking: I can’t take the trouble to raise my hand!

I have lost the faculty of enjoying their destruction, and I am too idle to destroy for nothing.

and, as he had no surname, and we could not tell his age, we were obliged to content ourselves with the single word, ‘Heathcliff.’ That came true: we were. If you enter the kirkyard, you’ll read, on his headstone, only that, and the date of his death.

I’ve done no injustice, and I repent of nothing. I’m too happy; and yet I’m not happy enough. My soul’s bliss kills my body, but does not satisfy itself.’

31 July 2013

I Am Half-Sick of Shadows: A Flavia de Luce Novel (Alan Bradley)


Quotes:

Tendrils of raw fog floated up from the ice like agonized spirits departing their bodies.

Johann Rudolf Glauber,

Why, just yesterday I had a thimbleful of arsenic in my hand, and I put it down somewhere. I can’t for the life of me think what I could have done with it.” “I found it in the butter dish,” Dogger said. “I took the liberty of setting it out for the mice in the coach house.” “Butter and all?” I asked. “Butter and all.” “But not the dish.” “But not the dish,” said Dogger. Why aren’t there more people like Dogger in the world?

“Why do you do it, Flavia?” the Inspector asked in a suddenly different voice, his eyes on the mess I had made of the carpet. I don’t think I had ever seen him look so pained. “Do what?” I couldn’t help myself. “Lie,” he said. “Why do you fabricate these outlandish stories?” I had often thought about this myself, and although I had a ready answer, I did not feel obliged to give it to him. “Well,” I wanted to say, “there are those of us who create because all around us, things visible and invisible are crumbling. We are like the stonemasons of Babylon, forever working, as it says in Jeremiah, to shore up the city walls.” I didn’t say that, of course. What I did say was: “I don’t know.”

It’s wonderful how the mind works in such situations. I remember distinctly that my first thought was “Here’s Flavia, her hands full of fire in a cupboard jam-packed with combustibles.”

‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news,’ or so, at least, said the apostle Paul, quoting Isaiah, but presumably speaking of his own feet, in his letter to the Romans,” the vicar remarked to no one in particular.

24 July 2013

Walk Two Moons (Trophy Newbery) (Sharon Creech)

Read in parallel with Laura. Great book. I didn't expect the ending.


Quotes:

Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked two moons in his moccasins.

Margaret Cadaver.

Salamanca Tree Hiddle.

Phoebe Winterbottom

“Oh!” I thought. “I am happy at this moment in time.”

It is surprising all the things you remember just by eating a blackberry pie.

I said to myself, “Salamanca Tree Hiddle, you can be happy without her.” It seemed a mean thought and I was sorry for it, but it felt true.

Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked two moons in his moccasins.

Coeur d’Alene,

Everyone has his own agenda.

In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?

You can’t keep the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair. Phoebe

You can’t keep the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair.

Because of all these gifts, Zeus named her Pandora, which means ‘the gift of all.’”

That night I kept thinking about Pandora’s box. I wondered why someone would put a good thing such as Hope in a box with sickness and kidnapping and murder. It was fortunate that it was there, though.

We never know the worth of water until the well is dry.

Kissing was thumpingly complicated. Both people had to be in the same place at the same time, and both people had to remain still so that the kiss ended up in the right place. But I was relieved that my lips ended up on the cold metal locker. I could not imagine what had come over me, or what might have happened if the kiss had landed on Ben’s mouth. It was a shivery thing to consider. I made it through the rest of my classes without losing control of my lips.

In the course of a lifetime, there were some things that mattered.

It seems to me that we can’t explain all the truly awful things in the world like war and murder and brain tumors, and we can’t fix these things, so we look at the frightening things that are closer to us and we magnify them until they burst open. Inside is something that we can manage, something that isn’t as awful as it had at first seemed. It is a relief to discover that although there might be axe murderers and kidnappers in the world, most people seem a lot like us: sometimes afraid and sometimes brave, sometimes cruel and sometimes kind.

16 July 2013

Chike and the River (Chinua Achebe)

Read with Laura. OK book, but not Achebe's best.


Quotes:

In Onitsha the letters S.M.O.G. were said to bring good luck because they stood for Save Me O God.

15 July 2013

Heavy Water: and Other Stories (Vintage International) (Martin Amis)

Good stories, especially the one about the janitor in Mars. Not earth-shattering.


Quotes:

“What will my death be like?” he thought—and knew at once, with abrupt certainty, that it would be just like his life: different in form, perhaps, but nothing new, the same balance of bearables, the same.

So class and race and gender were supposedly gone (and other things were supposedly going, like age and beauty and even education): all the really automatic ways people had of telling who was better or worse—they were gone. Right-thinkers everywhere were claiming that they were clean of prejudice, that in them the inherited formulations had at last been purged. This they had decided. But for those on the pointed end of the operation—the ignorant, say, or the ugly—it wasn’t just a decision. Some of them had no new clothes. Some were still dressed in the uniform of their deficiencies. Some were still wearing the same old shit. Some would never be admitted.

More scavenger than predator, in matters of the heart, Rodney was the first on the scene after the big cats had eaten their fill. He liked his women freshly jilted.

They didn’t know—as I do—that this happens to all type-v worlds in the posthistorical phase. Without exception. They go insane.

We fixed it so that they think they’re simulations in a deterministic computer universe. It is believed that this is the maximum suffering you can visit on a type-v world.

The supermarket tabloids were calling it the straight cancer and the straight plague, but even the New York Times, in its frequent reports and updates, struck a note of heavily subdued monotony that sounded to Cleve like the forerunner of full hysteria.

A spokesman for the Anti-Family Church Coalition predictably announced that the straight subculture had brought this scourge on itself.

A kitchen, to Cleve, was an arena for the free play of delectation, enterprise, and wit. Not the rear end of some desperate holding operation, a field hospital of pots, pails, acids, carbolics, and cauldrons of boiling laundry. “This is meat and potatoes,” he whispered. “Meat and potatoes tops.” He couldn’t imagine cooking anything in here. He could imagine having his legs amputated in here.

14 July 2013

To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)

Amazing book, very strange to be reading this at the same time that the Zimmerman case was going on. The more things change, the more they don't.


Quotes:

“First of all,” he said, “if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view-”

“First of all,” he said, “if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view-”

“Jack! When a child asks you something, answer him, for goodness’ sake. But don’t make a production of it.

Why reasonable people go stark raving mad when anything involving a Negro comes up, is something I don’t pretend to understand…

“Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”

“Jee crawling hova, Jem!

He likened Tom’s death to the senseless slaughter of songbirds by hunters and children,

How could this be so, I wondered, as I read Mr. Underwood’s editorial. Senseless killing—Tom had been given due process of law to the day of his death; he had been tried openly and convicted by twelve good men and true; my father had fought for him all the way. Then Mr. Underwood’s meaning became clear: Atticus had used every tool available to free men to save Tom Robinson, but in the secret courts of men’s hearts Atticus had no case. Tom was a dead man the minute Mayella Ewell opened her mouth and screamed.

04 July 2013

The Flavia de Luce 3-Book Bundle: The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag, A Red Herring Without Mustard (Alan Bradley)

Great series of books. Flavia de Luce is a rich character and the perfect unreliable narrator.


Quotes:

I skipped down the broad stone staircase into the hall, pausing at the door of the dining room just long enough to toss my pigtails back over my shoulders and into their regulation position.

Odd, isn’t it, that a charge of lipstick is precisely the size of a .45 caliber slug.

Whenever she was thinking about Ned, Feely played Schumann. I suppose that’s why they call it romantic music.

Because she plays so beautifully, I have always felt it my bounden duty to be particularly rotten to her.

If there was anything that surprised me about this tale, it was the way in which Father brought it to life. I could almost reach out and touch the gentlemen in their high starched collars and stovepipe hats; the ladies in their bustled skirts and bonnets. And as the characters in his tale came to life, so did Father.

Apart from the soul, the brewing of tea is the only thing that sets us apart from the great apes—or so the Vicar had remarked to Father, who had told Feely, who had told Daffy, who had told me.

Something in me that was less than noble rose up out of the depths, and I was transformed in the blink of an eye into Flavia the Pigtailed Avenger, whose assignment was to throw a wrench into this fearsome and unstoppable pie machine.

The first thing that struck me was the smell of the place: a mixture of cabbage, rubber cushions, dishwater, and death.

“Hello, Flavia,” he said. “I’ve been expecting you.”

What would Marie-Anne Paulze Lavoisier have done? I wondered. Would she have stood here fuming and foaming like one of those miniature volcanoes which results when a heap of ammonium dichromate is ignited? Somehow I doubted it. Marie-Anne would forget the chemistry and tackle the door.

As an accomplished fibber myself, I spotted the telltale signs of an untruth before they were halfway out of his mouth: the excessive detail, the offhand delivery, and the wrapping-up of it all in casual chitchat.

It has been my experience that facetiousness in the mouth of someone old enough to know better is often no more than camouflage for something far, far worse.

I saw the faraway look come into her eyes: the look of an adult floundering desperately to find common ground with someone younger.

They had what they call an ink-quest at the library—it’s the same thing as a poet’s mortem,

Jack’s carved wooden face was a face we all recognized: It was as if Rupert had deliberately modeled the puppet’s head from a photograph of Robin, the Inglebys’ dead son. The likeness was uncanny.

Last night’s excitement had drained everyone of their energy and they were, I guessed, still snoring away in their respective rooms like a pack of convalescent vampires.

Sometimes I hated myself. But not for long.

Experience has taught me that an expected answer is often better than the truth.

“You lie when you are attacked for nothing … for the color of your eyes.” “Yes,” I said. “I suppose I do.” I had never really thought of it in this way. “So,” she said, suddenly animated, as if the encounter with Mrs. Bull had warmed her blood, “you lie like us. You lie like a Gypsy.” “Is that good?” I asked. “Or bad?” Her answer was slow in coming. “It means you will live a long life.”

steadily losing ground to the more exciting religious sects such as the Ranters, the Shakers, the Quakers, the Diggers, the Levellers, the Sliders, the Swadlers, the Tumblers, the Dunkers, the Tunkers, and yes, even the Incorrupticolians,

I’d learned quite early in life that the mind loves nothing better than to spook itself with outlandish stories, as if the various coils of the brain were no more than a troop of roly-poly Girl Guides huddled over a campfire in the darkness of the skull.

Death by family silver, I thought, before I could turn off that part of my mind.

Although it sounded like a dry chuckle, the sound I heard must really have been a little cry of dismay from the Inspector at having so foolishly lost the services of a first-rate mind.

I swore it on my mother’s grave. Harriet, of course, had no grave. Her body was somewhere in the snows of Tibet.

When I come to write my autobiography, I must remember to record the fact that a chicken-wire fence can be scaled by a girl in bare feet, but only by one who is willing to suffer the tortures of the damned to satisfy her curiosity.

By necessity, I had become quite an accomplished laboratory chef.

With a bit of patience and a Bunsen burner, some truly foul odors can be generated in the laboratory.

I’ve recently come to the conclusion that the nursery rhyme riddle is the most basic form of the detective story. It’s a mystery stripped of all but the essential facts.

A “dear” or “dearie” to me is about as welcome as a bullet to the brain. I’ve had places reserved in the ha’penny seats of Hell for people who address me in this way.

I think there must be a kind of courage that comes from not being able to make up your mind.

“We always want to love the recipients of our charity,” the doctor said, negotiating a sharp bend in the road with a surprising demonstration of steering skill, “but it is not necessary. Indeed, it is sometimes not possible.”

Thinking and prayer are much the same thing anyway, when you stop to think about it—if that makes any sense. Prayer goes up and thought comes down—or so it seems. As far as I can tell, that’s the only difference. I thought about this as I walked across the fields to Buckshaw. Thinking about Brookie Harewood—and who killed him, and why—was really just another way of praying for his soul, wasn’t it? If this was true, I had just established a direct link between Christian charity and criminal investigation. I could hardly wait to tell the vicar!

Until now, my fury had always been like those jolly Caribbean carnivals we had seen in the cinema travelogues—a noisy explosion of color and heat that wilted steadily as the day went on. But now it had suddenly become an icy coldness: a frigid wasteland in which I stood unapproachable. And it was in that instant, I think, that I began to understand my father.

“Of course I love them,” I said, throwing myself full length onto the bed. “That’s why I’m so good at hating them.”

21 June 2013

The Ocean at the End of the Lane: A Novel (Neil Gaiman)

One of Gaiman's best, a reflection on childhood, imagination and stories.


Quotes:

“I remember my own childhood vividly . . . I knew terrible things. But I knew I mustn’t let adults know I knew. It would scare them.” Maurice Sendak,

The cake had a book drawn on it, in icing. My mother, who had organized the party, told me that the lady at the bakery said that they had never put a book on a birthday cake before, and that mostly for boys it was footballs or spaceships. I was their first book.

“How old are you, really?” I asked. “Eleven.” I thought for a bit. Then I asked, “How long have you been eleven for?” She smiled at me.

It’s electron decay, mostly. You have to look at things closely to see the electrons. They’re the little dinky ones that look like tiny smiles. The neutrons are the gray ones that look like frowns.

Sometimes adults didn’t like to be asked their ages, and sometimes they did. In my experience, old people did. They were proud of their ages.

I liked myths. They weren’t adult stories and they weren’t children’s stories. They were better than that. They just were.

Adults follow paths. Children explore.

Growing up, I took so many cues from books. They taught me most of what I knew about what people did, about how to behave. They were my teachers and my advisors. In books, boys climbed trees, so I climbed trees, sometimes very high, always scared of falling. In books, people climbed up and down drainpipes to get in and out of houses, so I climbed up and down drainpipes too.

She was power incarnate, standing in the crackling air. She was the storm, she was the lightning, she was the adult world with all its power and all its secrets and all its foolish casual cruelty.

“Nobody actually looks like what they really are on the inside. You don’t. I don’t. People are much more complicated than that. It’s true of everybody.”

“Oh, monsters are scared,” said Lettie. “That’s why they’re monsters. And as for grown-ups . . .” She stopped talking, rubbed her freckled nose with a finger. Then, “I’m going to tell you something important. Grown-ups don’t look like grown-ups on the inside either. Outside, they’re big and thoughtless and they always know what they’re doing. Inside, they look just like they always have. Like they did when they were your age. The truth is, there aren’t any grown-ups. Not one, in the whole wide world.” She thought for a moment. Then she smiled. “Except for Granny, of course.”

I do not miss childhood, but I miss the way I took pleasure in small things, even as greater things crumbled.

“You don’t pass or fail at being a person, dear.”

15 June 2013

The Book of Bebb (Frederick Buechner)


Quotes:

Three or four times in my life it has been given to me, as Brownie might have put it, to say the right thing, and this was one of them. I take no credit for it anyway.

will call upon the Almighty to send down upon him the gift of charity—charity is the most important gift of them all, Antonio—and the gift of faith, and the gift of the word of wisdom. Those three are absolute musts. Without them you’re licked before you start.

I have always suspected prayer is more for man’s sake than for God’s—it is not God who needs to be praised but we who need to praise him, whether we believe in him or not.

I’ll tell you one thing about what it’s all about, and that is that it’s hard, Antonio. It’s all of it hard. Right down to the end. Even the things are supposed to be easy, they’re hard too.

I have a feeling it’s the in-between times, the times that narratives like this leave out and that the memory in general loses track of, which are the times when souls are saved or lost.

Every person has one particular time in his life when he is more beautiful than he is ever going to be again. For some it is at seven, for others at seventeen or seventy, and as Laura Fleischman read out loud from Shakespeare, I remember thinking that for her it was probably just then. Her long hair dividing over her bare shoulders, her lashes dark against her cheeks as she looked down at the page, she could go nowhere from this moment except away from it. She still had a long way to go before she left it behind for good, but I felt like Father Hopkins anyway as I watched her—How to keep back beauty, keep it, beauty, beauty, beauty, from vanishing away…

When you think you’ve reached a turning point, the chances are you’ve already passed it.

I was like the man who happens to scratch his ear at an auction. God only knew what I might end up paying.

Gertrude Conover said, “Everything, that’s all. Everything’s got to do with everything else. Everything fits in somewhere, and there’s no power in heaven or earth that can upset the balance.”

“Forget not the congregation of the poor forever, for the dark places of the earth are full of the habitations of cruelty,”

As she ducked down under the table to pick them up, the eyes of Anita Steen and my eyes met roughly at the place where Sharon’s face had been, and instead of meeting there as enemies, we met for the first and only time in our lives as old war comrades coming together in an empty place where some crucial battle had taken place while both of us were looking the other way. Anita Steen tried flashing her brigadier wrinkles at me, but for once they failed her, just rocketed like tears from the outer corners of her eyes and fizzled out in the shadowy no man’s land where her smile should have been. Sharon was the prize we both were battling for, and with our eyes we told each other we both had lost.

‘Gertrude Conover, I don’t know. I’m homesick, but I don’t know what I’m homesick for any more than you do.’

Young and old, black and white, town and gown—“Antonio, it’s Noah’s ark,” Bebb said to me at some point. “We got two of everything, only here it’s the clean and the unclean both.”

Friends, while we’re still sitting here feeling good let us promise to remember how for a little bit of time we loved each other in this place.

Irony is a game primarily for grownups. A form of solitaire.

In distant cities mothers unaccountably gathered their children to their skirts and stray dogs showed their teeth as I reached out and took her hand in mine.

You can’t be too careful what you tell a child because you never know what he’ll take hold of and spend the rest of his life remembering you by.

You take anything people have ever done in this world, and the best you can say about any of it is that it’s maybe one part honest and well-meant and the other nine parts shit.

“I said, ‘Virgil, the night is dark, and we are far from home.’ How come it was the words of that old hymn popped into my mind just then to say? I don’t know, but it did. I said, ‘The night is dark, Virgil Roebuck, and home’s a long ways off for both of us.’

We that had loved him so, followed him, honored him, Lived in his mild and magnificent eye, Learned his great language, caught his clear accents, Made him our pattern to live and to die.

When asked his estimation of Bebb, High School English prof Parr quotes Browning: We that had loved him so, followed him, honored him, Lived in his mild and magnificent eye, Learned his great language, caught his clear accents, Made him our pattern to live and to die.

“Why not just get the hell out, Bip?” I said. He said, “Because getting the hell out, that’s what hell is, Antonio. I’ve got to gird up my loins for the next round. I’ve got to move on.”

Bebb said, “Sharon, nobody that doesn’t have faith ought to feel too bad about it. Even the ones that have it, it’s not like they have it permanent, like a face-lift.”

a capacity if not for rising above irony like the saints, at least for living it out with something like grace, with the suspicion if not the certainty that maybe the dark and hurtful shadows all things cast are only shadows.

“The trouble with folks like Brownie is they hold their life in like a bakebean fart at a Baptist cookout and only let it slip out sideways a little at a time when they think there’s nobody noticing. Now that’s the last thing on earth the Almighty intended. He intended all the life a man’s got inside him, he should live it out just as free and strong and natural as a bird.

“Sometimes just heartbreak is enough to make us puke, dear.

“I never had a child of my own, but it always seemed as though maybe having faith wasn’t all that different a thing. It seemed as though faith was like somebody to take care of you when you got old. A shoulder to lean on when the shadows lengthened and your work was done. A hand to hold. Now it’s like I had a child once but it’s died. There are times I don’t know as how I can keep on going.”

When a marriage cracks like a plate and is glued together again, of all the things you’ve got to be careful about, the first is to look as if you aren’t being careful about any of them.

“I’d rather be wrong about all those things I believe in and more or less alive and interested than right as rain and bored half to death.”

“Dear Bip, Even if you never worked a miracle, you were a miracle, and that’s what counts.

and I said, “Oh shit, Bip”—shit not as an expletive but as a cry of longing and despair that welled up not just out of Callaway’s getting screwed but out of the whole world’s getting screwed, out of all sadness, failure, loss. “Poor everybody” Sharon had said among the brown roses, and Brownie, Jimmy Bob, my nephew Tony with the baby in his arms, everybody was included in my excremental lament. I said, “He’s been coming two thousand years, Bip, and he hasn’t made it yet.” “He’ll make it,” Bebb said. Then Babe said, “Hi-yo Silver,” and then “Brrrrum brrrrum brrrrum bum bum” in strenuous imitation of the overture to William Tell by Gioachino Rossini.

In a world where we are often closer to the truth in dreams than anywhere else, who is to say what is possible and not possible, true and not true, any more than in dreams you can say it?

I thought of Gideon and Barak and Samson and all those others who are said to have spent their lives dreaming of a homeland which they had had only a glimpse of from afar and not all that clear a glimpse either. I mentioned them to Brownie as we set off just to see what he would say, and I remember him still as he turned to look at me over the back of his seat through his cracked lenses and said, “They were the great heroes of the faith, dear, but they died still guessing just like the rest of us.”

“And yet,” she said, her hand on the varnished bannister, “Thank your stars there is always and yet. This side of Paradise, perhaps it is the best you can hope for.

My dear, everything that happens is absolutely seething with miracle, and who sees it? Who even wants to see it most of the time? Life is confusing enough as it is.”

It’s not the way we either one of us would have ever picked, but there’s not any way on this earth doesn’t lead to the throne of grace in the end if that’s where you’ve got your heart set on going.

As Stephen Kulak is bound to discover someday, the effect of death on a household is not unlike the effect of a wedding—the same comings and goings, the same suspension of routine, the sense of holiday almost and of history, the gathering of the clan.

Treasure Hunt

But to be honest I must say that on occasion I can also hear something else too—not the thundering of distant hoofs, maybe, or Hi-yo, Silver. Away! echoing across the lonely sage, but the faint chunk-chunk of my own moccasin heart, of the Tonto afoot in the dusk of me somewhere who, not because he ought to but because he can’t help himself, whispers Kemo Sabe every once in a while to what may or may not be only a silvery trick of the failing light.

How to talk to girls at parties (Neil Gaiman)

Not really a "how to" book.


10 June 2013

Hitch-22: A Memoir (Christopher Hitchens)

Good reading, as C. H. always wrote well. It feels like he was very selective about what he put in and left out. In any case, he doesn't disappoint.


Quotes:

I can claim copyright only in myself, and occasionally in those who are either dead or have written about the same events, or who have a decent expectation of anonymity, or who are such appalling public shits that they have forfeited their right to bitch.

For those I have loved, or who have been so lenient and gracious as to have loved me, I have not words enough here, and I remember with gratitude how they have made me speechless in return.

I HOPE IT WILL not seem presumptuous to assume that anybody likely to have got as far as acquiring this paperback re-edition of my memoir will know that it was written by someone who, without appreciating it at the time, had become seriously and perhaps mortally ill.

I am forced to make simultaneous preparations to die, and to go on living. Lawyers in the morning, as I once put it, and doctors in the afternoon

I suspect that it doesn’t very much matter what one reads in the early years, once one has acquired the essential ability to read for pleasure alone.

Then there was one of Methodism’s many paradoxes, which was its historic identification with the working class.

In writing and reading, there is a gold standard. How will you be able to detect it? You will know it all right.

It can be good to start with a shipwreck. Your ideal authors ought to pull you from the foundering of your previous existence, not smilingly guide you into a friendly and peaceable harbor.

A bit young to be so cynical and so superior, you may think. My reply is that you should fucking well have been there, and felt it for yourself.

The first real kick he gets from a cop is often a huge moment of truth to a young member of the middle class…

I began to discern one of the elements of an education: get as near to the supposed masters and commanders as you can and see what stuff they are really made of.

So there it was: Cuban socialism was too much like a boarding school in one way and too much like a church in another.

You do not forget, even if you come from a free and humorous society, the first time that you are with unsmiling seriousness called a “counter-revolutionary” to your face.

People began to intone the words “The Personal Is Political.” At the instant I first heard this deadly expression, I knew as one does from the utterance of any sinister bullshit that it was—cliché is arguably forgivable here—very bad news. From now on, it would be enough to be a member of a sex or gender, or epidermal subdivision, or even erotic “preference,” to qualify as a revolutionary.

will have to say this much for the old “hard” Left: we earned our claim to speak and intervene by right of experience and sacrifice and work. It would never have done for any of us to stand up and say that our sex or sexuality or pigmentation or disability were qualifications in themselves.

Let us say one quarter of the time allotted to political confrontations and dramas, another devoted to reading books on any subject except the ones I was supposed to be studying, another quarter on seeking out intellectual heavyweights who commanded artillery superior to my own, with the residual twenty-five percent being consumed by the polymorphous perverse. It could have been worse.

Within moments, Margaret Thatcher and I were face to face. Within moments, too, I had turned away and was showing her my buttocks.

The alteration of perspective was the most useful thing. In northern Europe it was, roughly speaking, a case of the free West versus the “satellite states” of the East. In Cyprus, though, the illegal occupying power was a member of NATO. In Portugal, the fascist regime itself was a member of NATO. Likewise in the case of Greece. In Spain, the main external relationship of the system was with Washington. Thus it was possible to meet Communists who, in these special circumstances, not only made sense but had heroic records and were respected popular figures.

Do you know why General Jorge Rafael Videla of Argentina was eventually sentenced? Well, do you? Because he sold the children of the tortured rape victims who were held in his private prison.

Escorted into Videla’s presence, I justified my politeness and formality by telling myself that I wasn’t there to make points but to elicit facts. I possess a picture of the encounter that still makes me want to spew: there stands the killer and torturer and rape-profiteer, as if to illustrate some seminar on the banality of evil. Bony-thin and mediocre in appearance, with a scrubby moustache, he looks for all the world like a cretin impersonating a toothbrush.

Many governments employ torture but this was the first time that the element of Saturnalia and pornography in the process had been made so clear to me. If you care to imagine what any inadequate or cruel man might do, given unlimited power over a woman, then anything that you can bring yourself to suspect was what became routine in ESMA, the Navy Mechanics School that became the headquarters of the business.

Nothing is possible in such a universe, and that is precisely what the torturers know…

Over at City Lights bookstore in North Beach you could see a man chatting with customers and looking like Lawrence Ferlinghetti: it was Lawrence Ferlinghetti.

One always has the vague illusion of taking or making one’s own decisions, the illusion itself running in parallel with the awareness that most such calls are made for you by other people, or by circumstances, or just made

On the one side was the very ugliest bit of the new American empire, represented by the Haig-Kirkpatrick alliance of uniformed bullies and power-sucking pseudo-intellectuals. They spoke for the Argentine torturers who were—as they then well knew but we did not—already acting as the herders and trainers for a homicidal crew that the world would soon know as the Nicaraguan contras. (It really counts as an irony of history that it was Mrs. Thatcher’s bellicosity that robbed the neo-cons of their favorite proxy, compelling the then-unknown Oliver North to finance the contras from hostage trading with the Iranian mullahs instead, and very nearly demolishing the presidency of her adored “Ronnie.”)

To become a Washingtonian is to choose a very odd way of becoming an American. It felt at first like moving to a company town where nothing ever actually got itself made.

the claustrophobic world in which he had to live for some years was a prefiguration of the world in which we all, to a greater or lesser extent, live now.

leaden prose always tends to be a symptom of other problems

The curse-word “fascism” is easily enough thrown around, including by me on occasion, but I give you my oath that it makes a difference to you when you see the real thing at work.

All those who have had similar or comparable experiences will recognize the problem at once: it is not possible for long to be just a little bit heretical.

A life that partakes even a little of friendship, love, irony, humor, parenthood, literature, and music, and the chance to take part in battles for the liberation of others cannot be called “meaningless” except if the person living it is also an existentialist and elects to call it so.

I had gone to Prague determined to be the first visiting writer not to make use of the name Franz Kafka, but the numbing bureaucracy got the better of me.

The fragility of love is what is most at stake here—humanity’s most crucial three-word avowal is often uttered only to find itself suddenly embarrassing or orphaned or isolated or ill-timed—but strangely enough it can work better as a literal or reassuring statement than a transcendent or numinous or ecstatic one.

How terrible it is that we have so many more desires than opportunities.

Hardest of all, as one becomes older, is to accept that sapient remarks can be drawn from the most unwelcome or seemingly improbable sources, and that the apparently more trustworthy sources can lead one astray.

Gore Vidal, for instance, once languidly told me that one should never miss a chance either to have sex or to appear on television. My efforts to live up to this maxim have mainly resulted in my passing many unglamorous hours on off-peak cable TV.

I still make sure to go, at least once every year, to a country where things cannot be taken for granted and where there is either too much law and order or too little.

Be careful about up-grading too far to single malt Scotch: when you are voyaging in rough countries it won’t be easily available.

In the early days of the December that my father was to die, my younger brother brought me the news that I was a Jew. I was then a transplanted Englishman in America, married, with one son, and, though unconsoled by any religion, a nonbelieving member of two Christian churches. On hearing the tidings, I was pleased to find that I was pleased.

even the British Royal Family scrapped its Saxe-Coburg-Gotha titles and became the House of Windsor, conveniently metamorphosing other names like “Battenberg” into “Mountbatten.”

This was around the time of countrywide protest against the introduction of a horrible laboratory-confected disease, named “myxomatosis,” into the warrens of old England to keep down the number of nibbling rodents

you only find out what you ought to have known by pretending to know at least some of it already.

1812 Napoleon had issued his emancipation decree, liberating the Jews from ancient church-mandated legal disabilities.

What people still do not like to admit is that there were two crimes in the form of one. Just as the destruction of Jewry was the necessary condition for the rise and expansion of Nazism, so the ethnic cleansing of Germans was a precondition for the Stalinization of Poland.

And thus to my final and most melancholy point: a great number of Stalin’s enforcers and henchmen in Eastern Europe were Jews. And not just a great number, but a great proportion

The important but delayed realization will have to come: Israeli Jews are a part of the diaspora, not a group that has escaped from it.

Leo Strauss was right. The Jews will not be “saved” or “redeemed.” (Cheer up: neither will anyone else.) They/we will always be in exile whether they are in the greater Jerusalem area or not, and this in some ways is as it should be.

If a difference of principle goes undiscussed for any length of time, it will start to compromise and undermine the integrity of a friendship.

I sometimes feel that I should carry around some sort of rectal thermometer, with which to test the rate at which I am becoming an old fart.

From this kind of leathery awareness, nature itself protects the young, and a good thing, too, otherwise they would be old before their time and be taking no chances.

The old slogans still sometimes strike me as the best ones, and “Death to Fascism” requires no improvement.

Physical courage is in some part the outcome of sheer circumstance.

The usual duty of the “intellectual” is to argue for complexity and to insist that phenomena in the world of ideas should not be sloganized or reduced to easily repeated formulae. But there is another responsibility, to say that some things are simple and ought not to be obfuscated,

I suspect that the hardest thing for the idealist to surrender is the teleological, or the sense that there is some feasible, lovelier future that can be brought nearer by exertions in the present, and for which “sacrifices” are justified.

It is not so much that there are ironies of history, it is that history itself is ironic.

It is not that there are no certainties, it is that it is an absolute certainty that there are no certainties.

To be an unbeliever is not to be merely “open-minded.” It is, rather, a decisive admission of uncertainty that is dialectically connected to the repudiation of the totalitarian principle, in the mind as well as in politics. But that’s my Hitch-22.

It’s quite a task to combat the absolutists and the relativists at the same time: to maintain that there is no totalitarian solution while also insisting that, yes, we on our side also have unalterable convictions and are willing to fight for them. After various past allegiances, I have come to believe that Karl Marx was rightest of all when he recommended continual doubt and self-criticism.

09 June 2013

Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka)

shudder...


Quotes:

  One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin.

for the first time that day, he began to feel alright with his body;

07 June 2013

The Mysterious Island (Voyages Extraordinaires) (Jules Verne)

Read in parallel with Laura. Fun, fun, fun!


Quotes:

To put it more concisely, I have done here what any translator does: I have tried to offer the American reader an experience as similar as possible to my own experience of the original work.

Cyrus Smith, born and raised in Massachusetts, was an engineer possessed of a first-rate mind.

There’s always a way to do anything!

No hero invented by Defoe or Wyss, no Selkirk or Raynal shipwrecked at Juan Fernández or in the Auckland archipelago ever found himself as utterly bereft as this. Either they enjoyed an abundant supply of resources from the wreck of their ship—seeds, animals, tools, ammunition—or else some new wreckage was driven to their shore, offering all they required for their survival. Never were they forced to face nature unarmed. No such luck for our castaways: no utensils, no instruments of any sort. Starting from nothing, they would have to create everything!

“As for me,” said the sailor, “may I lose my good name if ever I shrink before a task, and with your help, Mr. Smith, we’ll make our island a little America! We’ll build cities, we’ll construct a railway, we’ll lay telegraph lines, and one fine day, when the island has been completely transformed, completely developed, completely civilized, we’ll go and offer it to the Union!

Lincoln Island was located somewhere between the 35th and 37th parallels, and between the 150th and 155th meridians west of the Greenwich meridian.

“It seems odd to me,” observed Gideon Spilett, “that an island as small as this should have such a varied landscape.

scholars generally agree that one day our world will meet its end, or rather that animal and vegetal life will no longer be possible, owing to the intense cold that will eventually fall over the earth. What they do not agree on is the cause of that cooling.

“In the meantime,” answered Gideon Spilett, “let us occupy this land as if it were to be our home for all eternity. There is no room for half-measures.”

unknown cloth, similar to wool but clearly of vegetal origin

“Ah,” cried Cyrus Smith, “you can weep! Now you are a man again!”

“Supernatural!” cried the sailor, letting out a great puff of tobacco smoke. “You don’t believe our island is supernatural?” “No, Pencroff, but it is surely mysterious,”

a successful bandaging is a far rarer thing than a successful operation.

“You sent for us, Captain Nemo? We have come.”

“They did not die, and an account of your history has since been published, under the title Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.”

Every year the Nautilus grew emptier, until finally Captain Nemo found himself alone on his ship, the last of the small band who had sought independence in the depths of the sea.

There he listened as the colonists recalled their past and contemplated their present and future; there he learned of the terrible war between the two Americas, and of the struggle for the abolition of slavery. Truly, no men could have been more likely to reconcile Captain Nemo to the rest of humanity, and none could have represented human society more worthily!

“Throughout all my travels, I did whatever good was possible, and whatever evil was necessary. Justice does not always mean forgiveness!”

“Captain, your mistake was to believe you could bring back the past. You struggled against progress, which is a good and necessary thing. This is an error that some admire and others condemn, but God alone can judge of its virtue, and human reason can only pardon it. A man who errs through what he believes to be good intentions may well be denounced, but he will always be esteemed. Some may find much to praise in your error, and your name has nothing to fear from the judgment of history. History loves heroic follies, even as it condemns their consequences.”

06 June 2013

Interwold (Neil Gaiman and Michael Reaves)

Bah... good idea, book no good.


Quotes:

Always remember: In an infinity of worlds, anything is not only possible, it’s mandatory.

Stargirl (Jerry Spinelli)

Read with Laura. Wow! This is a great book. I can see it could be life changing.


Quotes:

“She liked you, boy.”

“So where do stars come in?” He pointed the pipe stem. “The perfect question. In the beginning, that’s where they come in. They supplied the ingredients that became us, the primordial elements. We are star stuff, yes?” He held up the skull of Barney, the Paleocene rodent. “Barney too, hm?” I nodded, along for the ride. “And I think every once in a while someone comes along who is a little more primitive than the rest of us, a little closer to our beginnings, a little more in touch with the stuff we’re made of.”

01 June 2013

Lucky Jim (Kingsley Amis)

A brutally funny book based on the premise that there is no end to the ways in which nice things are nicer than nasty ones. I'm glad i read about it in Christopher Hitchens, who was a fan.


Quotes:

J.R.R. Tolkien, Amis complained, “spoke unclearly and slurred important words, and then he’d write them on the blackboard but keep standing between them and us, then wipe them off before he turned around.”

One has sandals and saffron trousers, and No Socks, and a green shirt, and plays the recorder (yes)

Fury flared up in his mind like forgotten toast under a grill.

‘Haven’t you noticed how we all specialize in what we hate most?’

For a moment he felt like devoting the next ten years to working his way to a position as art critic on purpose to review Bertrand’s work unfavourably.

Dixon fought hard to drive away the opinion that, both as actress and as script-writer, she was doing rather well, and hated himself for failing.

Those who professed themselves unable to believe in the reality of human progress ought to cheer themselves up, as the students under examination had conceivably been cheered up, by a short study of the Middle Ages. The hydrogen bomb, the South African Government, Chiang Kai-shek, Senator McCarthy himself, would then seem a light price to pay for no longer being in the Middle Ages.

the possession of the signs of sexual privilege is the important thing, not the quality nor the enjoyment of them.

Whatever passably decent treatment Margaret had had from him was the result of a temporary victory of fear over irritation and/or pity over boredom. That behaviour of such origin could seem ‘so sweet’ to her might be taken as a reflection on her sensitivity, but it was also a terrible commentary on her frustration and loneliness. Poor old Margaret, he thought with a shudder. He must try harder.

All the same, what messes these women got themselves into over nothing. Men got themselves into messes too, and ones that weren’t so easily got out of, but their messes arose from attempts to satisfy real and simple needs.

Your attitude measures up to the two requirements of love. You want to go to bed with her and can’t, and you don’t know her very well. Ignorance of the other person topped up with deprivation, Jim.

For once in his life Dixon resolved to bet on his luck. What luck had come his way in the past he’d distrusted, stingily held on to until the chance of losing his initial gain was safely past. It was time to stop doing that.

This ride, unlike most of the things that happened to him, was something he’d rather have than not have. He’d got something he wanted, and whatever the cost in future embarrassment he was ready to meet it. He reflected that the Arab proverb urging this kind of policy was incomplete: to ‘take what you want and pay for it’ it should add ‘which is better than being forced to take what you don’t want and paying for that’.

It was one more argument to support his theory that nice things are nicer than nasty ones.

More than ever he felt secure: here he was, quite able to fulfil his role, and, as with other roles, the longer you played it the better chance you had of playing it again. Doing what you wanted to do was the only training, and the only preliminary, needed for doing more of what you wanted to do.

What a pity it was, he thought, that she wasn’t better-looking, that she didn’t read the articles in the three-halfpenny Press that told you which colour lipstick went with which natural colouring. With twenty per cent more of what she lacked in these ways, she’d never have run into any of her appalling difficulties: the vices and morbidities bred of loneliness would have remained safely dormant until old age.

‘Oh, of course, Professor; I’m sorry,’ he said, having been well schooled in giving apologies at the very times when he ought to be demanding them.

He wouldn’t have thought it possible that a man who’d done so exactly what he’d set out to do could feel so violent a sense of failure and general uselessness.

‘Oh dear,’ Dixon said with a smile, ‘I’m afraid that’s rather a tall order. Explain my conduct; now that is asking something. I can’t think of anybody who’d be quite equal to that task.’

They faced each other on the floral rug, feet apart and elbows crooked in uncertain attitudes, as if about to begin some ritual of which neither had learnt the cues.

His spirits were so low that he wanted to lie down and pant like a dog:

Gradually, but not as gradually as it seemed to some parts of his brain, he began to infuse his tones with a sarcastic, wounding bitterness. Nobody outside a madhouse, he tried to imply, could take seriously a single phrase of this conjectural, nugatory, deluded, tedious rubbish. Within quite a short time he was contriving to sound like an unusually fanatical Nazi trooper in charge of a book-burning reading out to the crowd excerpts from a pamphlet written by a pacifist, Jewish, literate Communist.

there was no end to the ways in which nice things are nicer than nasty ones.