Welcome to my commonplace blog

The goal of this blog is to preserve a few ideas and quotes from books I read. In the old days when books were not so readily available, people kept "commonplace books" where they copied choice passages they wanted to be able to remember and perhaps reuse. The idea got picked up by V.F.D. and it's common knowledge that most of that organization's volunteers have kept commonplace books, and so have Laura and I.

I'm sure there are many other Internet sites and blogs dedicated to the same idea. But this one is mine. Feel free to look around and leave comments, but not spam.

29 December 2012

The Miracle at Speedy Motors: A No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Novel (9) (No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency) (McCall Smith, Alexander)

Another beautiful story of hope and decency.


Quotes:

That was the trouble with any inquiry; one unravelled one piece of the skein and it revealed so many little strands, each of which was a story in itself.

Sometimes it seemed as if the world itself was broken, that there was something wrong with all of us, something broken in such a way that it might not be put together again; but the holding of hands, human hand in human hand, could help, could make the world seem less broken.

“And I feel so sorry for the baboons,” said Mma Ramotswe. “I know that it is silly to say that. But I suddenly felt very sorry for them. They are just baboons, but they are dressing up for the wedding. Why is that so sad, Mma?” “Because it is always sad when people try to do things that they cannot do,” said Mma Potokwane. “The baboons are very sad for that reason.”

What was money? Nothing. A human conceit, so much smaller a thing than love, and friendship, and the pursuit, no matter how pointless, of hope.

That Obed Ramotswe should be remembered, that people should still speak of him; that touched her. One did not have to be famous to be remembered in Botswana; there was room in history for all of us. “He was a very good man,” she said. “He loved his cattle. He loved his country.”

Mma Ramotswe was right: evil repaid with retribution, with punishment, had achieved half its goal; evil repaid with kindness was shown to be what it really was, a small, petty thing, not something frightening at all, but something pitiable, a paltry affair.

27 December 2012

The Girl Who Ruled Fairyland--For a Little While (Catherynne M. Valente)

Interesting prequel. I thought the end was a little too gruesome, but don't let this discourage you. You'll find out why Queen Mallow's sword was a needle, and a couple of surprising things about the Green Wind.


Quotes:

I am a practical girl, and a life is only so long. It should be spent in as much peace and good eating and good reading as possible and no undue excitement.

But that is a battle story, and battle stories belong to those who fight them. How a battle feels is impossible to tell, except by nonsense: It felt like a long rip. It felt like a weight landing upon me, over and over. It felt like red. It felt like a bell unringing forever.

25 December 2012

When God Talks Back: Understanding the American Evangelical Relationship with God (T.M. Luhrmann)

A great book, and a good read. I can't think of any other book which i can recommend equally to any religious or non-religious person who is curious to understand just what really happens in a Vineyard church.


Quotes:

This book begins with a few simple questions. How does God become real for people? How are sensible people able to believe in an invisible being who has a demonstrable effect on their lives? And how can they sustain that belief in the face of what skeptical observers think must be inevitable disconfirmation? This book answers these questions by taking an outsider’s perspective into the heart of faith through an anthropological exploration of American evangelical Christianity.

Faith is hard because it is a decision to live as if a set of claims are real, even when one doubts: in the Christian case, that the world is good; that love endures; that you should live your life as if the promise of joy were at least a possibility.

Over the last few decades, this generation of Americans has sought out an intensely personal God, a God who not only cares about your welfare but worries with you about whether to paint the kitchen table.

We know that God is experienced in the brain as a social relationship. (Put someone in the scanner and ask them about God, and the same region of the brain lights up as when you ask them about a friend.)

At its heart, this is the dilemma of all human knowledge. We reach out to grasp a world we know to be more complex than our capacity to understand it, and we choose and act despite our awareness that what we take to be true may be an illusion, a wispy misperception.

I will argue that people learn specific ways of attending to their minds and their emotions to find evidence of God, and that both what they attend to and how they attend changes their experience of their minds, and that as a result, they begin to experience a real, external, interacting living presence.

to become a committed Christian one must learn to override three basic features of human psychology: that minds are private, that persons are visible, and that love is conditional and contingent upon right behavior.

Their Jesus is deeply human and playfully, magically supernatural.

What we have seen in the last four or five decades is the democratization of God—I and thou into you and me—and the democratization of intense spiritual experience, arguably more deeply than ever before in our country’s history.

That is the invitation: to experience God as if he were real in the flesh and standing by your side, with love. The challenge is to learn how to do that.

To an observer, what is striking is how hard people work to feel confident that the God who speaks to them in their mind is also the real external God who led the Jews out from slavery and died upon the cross.

At the beginning is the yearning.

And so already, in this first step, the congregant who seeks to experience God directly and immediately begins to tolerate uncertainty.

IF THE FIRST TASK in becoming able to experience God as an intimate friend is learning to recognize God in the privacy of one’s mind, the second task is learning to relate to God as a person.

In The God Delusion, the scientist Richard Dawkins states bluntly that we cannot choose to believe. C. S. Lewis thought that this was exactly what pretending enabled us to do.

In short, the congregants set out, at the church’s invitation, to treat God like an imaginary friend. When I asked people whether they experienced God as an imaginary friend, they usually rejected the word imaginary—and then accepted the comparison.

This is play, but it is a serious play: a play that cultivates the imagination for a serious end, precisely because congregants presume the basic claim of Christianity to be unbelievable, even foolish, in a modern, secular society.

The God of the renewalist evangelical church is not this cruel judge. The Vineyard took the basic Christian narrative about the distance between a limited human and a boundless mighty God and shifted the plotline from our inadequacy to God’s extraordinary capacity.

“crying in the presence of God.”

evangelicals support an ever more thriving community of Christian therapists who described their primary task as working with someone’s inner God-concept.

(it is an odd but obdurate fact that in my years as an anthropologist, I have heard several people describe intense spiritual experiences that took place on buses)

The difference between the joy of The Velveteen Rabbit and the joy of Christ is the enormous amount of work that these Christians do to allow the individual to experience the story not as a tale for children, which is never really true, but as a story that really is true, just not in an ordinary way, not yet.

It is one of the great paradoxes of Christianity that these moments, which secular outsiders can interpret as a capitulation to peer pressure and the taking on of prescribed rules and beliefs, are experienced, by someone like Sam, as sacred moments of exquisite freedom.

Nearly a quarter of the people I interviewed systematically at the church—six out of twenty-eight—told me, sometimes with discouraged voices, that they just didn’t hear God the way other people did.

There is what you might call a technology of prayer that centers on attention.2 That is, if you put to one side the theological purpose and supernatural efficacy of prayer, prayer changes the way the person praying uses his or her mind by changing the way that person pays attention. People learn to attend in specific, structured ways when they pray, and some people—the experts—become skilled at doing so.

There are two named styles of spiritual discipline within the Christian tradition: apophatic and kataphatic prayer.

More to the point, the via negativa can lead to spiritual transformation.

for many evangelicals, prayer rich in the images and stories of Christ, the via imaginativa, seems like a more appropriate form of prayer.

the medieval historian Mary Carruthers argues that in medieval monastic culture, contemplative prayer was primarily understood as a process of crafting thought. In this culture, she says, memory was understood not as a mirror of the past, or as a record of what has happened, but as a tool to make real what God desired.

To follow the exercises as Loyola gave them in the sixteenth century (more or less as they are now done), a participant must commit a full thirty days. One must move into a retreat house for a month and spend each day in silence, except for daily meetings with a “spiritual director.” The participant is expected to spend perhaps five hours a day in prayer, following specific, structured assignments.

Loyola, however, understood that there would be times when participants would enjoy the prayer process, and feel as if they could talk to God, and times when it would make them very unhappy and they couldn’t really believe that God was there to listen.

The point of religious conviction is that the everyday world is not all there is to reality; to see beyond, one must change the way one pays attention.

In fact, the kataphatic practice seemed to give people more of what the scriptures promise those who turn to Christ: peace and the presence of God.

Even in the United States, as many as 80 percent of those who have been bereaved will hear, see, or feel the person they have lost, and often that contact gives them comfort.

There is no single experience that is in itself intrinsically religious.

The anthropologist Richard Shweder says that when you take culture seriously, you must accept that we live in plural worlds, worlds made so distinctly in the interaction of peoples with one another that the most basic elements of human lives—to whom we respond emotionally, to what we recoil in moral disgust—will shift, so that it no longer makes sense to think about a shared world seen from different vantage points but of multiple worlds.

It’s not just about the brain—god spots, peak moments, and universal insights. Knowing God involves training, and it involves interpretation. Each faith—to some extent, each church—forms its own culture, its own way of seeing the world, and as people acquire the knowledge and the practices through which they come to know that God, the most intimate aspects of the way they experience their everyday world change. Those who learn to take God seriously do not simply interpret the world differently from those who have not done so. They have different evidence

It’s not just about the brain—god spots, peak moments, and universal insights. Knowing God involves training, and it involves interpretation. Each faith—to some extent, each church—forms its own culture, its own way of seeing the world, and as people acquire the knowledge and the practices through which they come to know that God, the most intimate aspects of the way they experience their everyday world change. Those who learn to take God seriously do not simply interpret the world differently from those who have not done so. They have different evidence for what is true. In some deep and fundamental way, as a result of their practices, they live in different worlds.

To the extent that prayer techniques can help make more real a loving God, they can also make more real a leering demon.

What we carry in our minds really can become our world if we encourage it and allow it to be present. That is the promise of faith and also its curse.

But the practices of faith within this kind of evangelical church make it possible for someone in trouble to learn to experience God as an internal source of comfort, whether or not the idea of God makes coherent logical sense.

The community is crucial, snarky as its members can be.

it takes a great deal of work for the community to teach people to develop these apparently private and personal relationships with God.

At the Vineyard, the community stood in for God when God seemed distant and particularly when he seemed unreal.

religion is not about explaining reality but about transforming it: making it possible to trust that the world is good, despite ample evidence to the contrary, and to hope, despite loneliness and despair.

The evangelical Christianity that emerged out of the 1960s is fundamentally psychotherapeutic. God is about relationship, not explanation, and the goal of the relationship is to convince congregants that their lives have a purpose and that they are loved.

How are Christians able to hold on to their faith despite the frank skepticism that they encounter again and again? The answer is that they understand their God in a way that adapts to the skepticism.

These stories of doubt and the fear of being foolish are an integral part of what it means to be an evangelical Christian.

“I don’t believe it but I’m sticking with it. That’s my definition of faith.”

And there is another factor that shapes the way the individual experiences God. That is the real presence of the divine. I have said that I do not presume to know ultimate reality. But it is also true that through the process of this journey, in my own way I have come to know God. I do not know what to make of this knowing. I would not call myself a Christian, but I find myself defending Christianity. I do not think of myself as believing in a God who sits out there, as real as a doorpost, but I have experienced what I believe the Gospels mean by joy.

In the end, this is the story of the uncertainty of our senses, and the complexity of our minds and world. There is so little we know, so much we take on trust. In a way more fundamental than we dare to appreciate, we each must make our own judgments about what is truly real, and there are no guarantees, for what is, is always cloaked in mystery.

23 December 2012

The King Thing (Neil Bastian)

Written by a friend of a friend, i got this for free on Amazon. It turned out to be funny and gripping, i read it in less than 24 hours.


Quotes:

I know it hasn’t gone to plan, but it’s working out better than we thought. I’ve got three hundred “Likes” on Facebook now.’

21 December 2012

Infinite Jest (David Foster Wallace)

Crazy long book, uneven, sometimes very funny, sometimes irritating. The lucid and honest portrait of addiction and recovery may explain why so many people describe this book as life-changing. Despite it's flaws, a must-read.


Quotes:

Page by page, line by line, it is probably the strangest, most distinctive, and most involved work of fiction by an American in the last twenty years.

When you exit these pages after that month of reading, you are a better person.

I’m not a machine. I feel and believe. I have opinions. Some of them are interesting.

Another way fathers impact sons is that sons, once their voices have changed in puberty, invariably answer the telephone with the same locutions and intonations as their fathers. This holds true regardless of whether the fathers are still alive.

Macdonald Chair in Prescriptive Usage

‘Personnes à Qui On Doit Surveiller Attentivement’ List.

an experialist and waste-exporting nation that’s forgotten privation and hardship

A U.S. of modern A. where the State is not a team or a code, but a sort of sloppy intersection of desires and fears, where the only public consensus a boy must surrender to is the acknowledged primacy of straight-line pursuing this flat and short-sighted idea of personal happiness:

Which is why tennis is an essentially tragic enterprise, to improve and grow as a serious junior, with ambitions. You seek to vanquish and transcend the limited self whose limits make the game possible in the first place. It is tragic and sad and chaotic and lovely.

It’s a herd of feral hamsters,

‘Stop her! She stole my heart!’

Marlon Brando was the archetypal new-type actor who ruined it looks like two whole generations’ relations with their own bodies and the everyday objects and bodies around them.

CHRONOLOGY OF ORGANIZATION OF NORTH AMERICAN NATIONS’ REVENUE-ENHANCING SUBSIDIZED TIME™, BY YEAR

As the one particular tough old guy or lady you’re always particularly scared of and drawn to says, nobody ever Comes In because things were going really well and they just wanted to round out their P.M. social calendar. Everybody, but everybody Comes In dead-eyed and puke-white and with their face hanging down around their knees and with a well-thumbed firearm-and-ordnance mail-order catalogue kept safe and available at home, map-wise, for when this last desperate resort of hugs and clichés turns out to be just happy horseshit, for you. You are not unique, they’ll say: this initial hopelessness unites every soul in this broad cold salad-bar’d hall. They are like Hindenburg-survivors. Every meeting is a reunion, once you’ve been in for a while.

a quotation from President Gentle’s second Inaugural: ‘Let the call go forth, to pretty much any nation we might feel like calling, that the past has been torched by a new and millennial generation of Americans,’

‘The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.’

that horrible year Hal vaguely recalls when a nation became obsessed with the state of its tongue, when people would no sooner leave home without a tongue-scraper and an emergency backup tongue-scraper than they’d fail to wash and brush and spray.

everybody from Procter & Gamble to Tom’s of Maine had its own brand’s scraper out, some of them with baroque and potentially hazardous electronic extras.

Pat told Gately that grim honesty and hopelessness were the only things you need to start recovering from Substance-addiction, but that without these qualities you were totally up the creek. Desperation helped also, she said.

Pat had said it didn’t matter at this point what he thought or believed or even said. All that mattered was what he did. If he did the right things, and kept doing them for long enough, what Gately thought and believed would magically change.

Inman Square, too, is someplace Gately rarely goes anymore, because it’s in Cambridge’s Little Lisbon, heavily Portuguese, which means also Brazilians in the antiquated bellbottoms and flare-collared leisure suits they’ve never let go of, and where there are disco-ized Brazilians can cocaine and narcotics ever be far away.

YES, I’M PARANOID—BUT AM I PARANOID ENOUGH?

Haloperidol, McNeil Pharmaceutical, 5 mg./ml. pre-filled syringes: picture several cups of Celestial Seasonings’ Cinnamon Soother tea followed by a lead-filled sap across the back of the skull.

Saying this is bad is like saying traffic is bad, or health-care surtaxes, or the hazards of annular fusion: nobody but Ludditic granola-crunching freaks would call bad what no one can imagine being without.

The point here for the best kids is to inculcate their sense that it’s never about being seen. It’s never. If they can get that inculcated, the Show won’t fuck them up, Schtitt thinks. If they can forget everything but the game when all of you out there outside the fence see only them and want only them and the game’s incidental to you, for you it’s about entertainment and personality, it’s about the statue, but if they can get inculcated right they’ll never be slaves to the statue, they’ll never blow their brains out after winning an event when they win, or dive out a third-story window when they start to stop getting poked at or profiled, when their blossom starts to fade. Whether or not you mean to, babe, you chew them up, it’s what you do.’

They become celebrities instead of players, and because they are celebrities only as long as they feed the culture-of-goal’s hunger for the make-it, the winning, they are doomed, because you cannot both celebrate and suffer, and play is always suffering, just so.’

Terms the undepressed toss around and take for granted as full and fleshy—happiness, joie de vivre, preference, love—are stripped to their skeletons and reduced to abstract ideas. They have, as it were, denotation but not connotation.

U.S.A. recovery from the addictions was somewhat paramilitary in nature. There were orders and the obeying of orders.

‘IL NE FAUT PLUS QU’ON PURSUIVE LE BONHEUR’

‘I know of this meaning. I am spending a day to find someone I think my friends will kill, all the time I am awaiting the chance to betray my friends, and I come here and telephone to betray them and I see this bruised person who strongly resembles my wife. I think: Rémy, it is time for many drinks.’

Our club was called the Money-Stealers’ Club. At my suggestion we went with a descriptive name as opposed to euphemistic.

It seems like Don G.’s gotten way more popular as somebody to talk to since he’s become effectively paralyzed and mute.

tries to imagine what kind of impossible leap it would take to live that way all the time, by choice, straight: in the second, the Now, walled and contained between slow heartbeats.

Abiding. No one single instant of it was unendurable. Here was a second right here: he endured it. What was undealable-with was the thought of all the instants all lined up and stretching ahead, glittering.

I could hear faint sounds of early-morning weeping in certain rooms beyond my line of sight. Lots of the top players start the A.M. with a quick fit of crying, then are basically hale and well-wrapped for the rest of the day.

20 December 2012

"Who Could That Be at This Hour?" (All the Wrong Questions) (Lemony Snicket)

I was expecting this to be a prequel to A Series of unfotunate events, but it's not, really. Instead, it's Daniel Handler's take on noir, driven by the perplexities of the interactions between children and adults, and styled on The Maltese Falcon. Once the initial shock is over, it's a fun book. Hoping for another successful series.


Quotes:

“Adults never tell children anything.” “Children never tell adults anything either,” I said. “The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drift near each other when we need a ride from someone or when someone needs us to wash our hands.”

“I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get into a huge war over a piece of jewelry that everybody wants but nobody can wear.” “I never liked that kind of book,” I replied. “There’s always a wizard who’s very powerful but not very helpful.”

20 November 2012

Adventure (Jack London)

Not Jack's best work, but notable mostly for the unconventional heroine Joan Lackland. The book itself is a weird mixture of antiquated and modern world views. A good read after you struggle past the first couple of chapters.


Quotes:

I was brought up the way most girls in Hawaii are brought up. They live in the open, and they know how to ride and swim before they know what six-times-six is.

"Mine was a business proposition, not a marriage proposal," she interrupted, coldly angry. "I wonder if somewhere in this world there is one man who could accept me for a comrade."

There are only three things I am afraid of—bumble-bees, scarlet fever, and chaperones.

13 November 2012

Lost Horizon (James Hilton)

I decided to read this after seeing it quoted in The Geography of Bliss. I haven't seen the movie, but i remember both my parents talking about that. It was certainly important to them and many people in their generation. It is a beautiful book, possibly the model for many Star Trek episodes and many other books that came after it.


Quotes:

Conway found himself quite unable to restrain an admiring glance at Miss Brinklow. She was not, he reflected, a normal person, no woman who taught Afghans to sing hymns could be considered so. But she was, after every calamity, still normally abnormal, and he was deeply obliged to her for it.

And as for the war, if you'd been in it you'd have done the same as I did, learned how to funk with a stiff lip."

Chang answered rather slowly and in scarcely more than a whisper: "If I were to put it into a very few words, my dear sir, I should say that our prevalent belief is in moderation. We inculcate the virtue of avoiding excess of all kinds--even including, if you will pardon the paradox, excess of virtue itself.

I can only add that our community has various faiths and usages, but we are most of us moderately heretical about them.

"The jewel has facets," said the Chinese, "and it is possible that many religions are moderately true."

His attitude may be summed up by saying that, as he had not died at a normal age, he began to feel that there was no discoverable reason why he either should or should not do so at any definite time in the future.

"Yet it is, nevertheless, a prospect of much charm that I unfold for you--long tranquillities during which you will observe a sunset as men in the outer world hear the striking of a clock, and with far less care. The years will come and go, and you will pass from fleshly enjoyments into austerer but no less satisfying realms; you may lose the keenness of muscle and appetite, but there will be gain to match your loss; you will achieve calmness and profundity, ripeness and wisdom, and the clear enchantment of memory. And, most precious of all, you will have Time--that rare and lovely gift that your Western countries have lost the more they have pursued it.

"Laziness in doing stupid things can be a great virtue,"

There came a time, he realized, when the strangeness of everything made it increasingly difficult to realize the strangeness of anything; when one took things for granted merely because astonishment would have been as tedious for oneself as for others.

"It is significant," he said after a pause, "that the English regard slackness as a vice. We, on the other hand, should vastly prefer it to tension. Is there not too much tension in the world at present, and might it not be better if more people were slackers?"

Although we have no bigotry on the point, it is our custom at Shangri-La to be moderately truthful, and I can assure you that my statements about the porters were almost correct.

We are a single lifeboat riding the seas in a gale; we can take a few chance survivors, but if all the shipwrecked were to reach us and clamber aboard we should go down ourselves. . . .

I suppose the truth is that when it comes to believing things without actual evidence, we all incline to what we find most attractive."

08 November 2012

The Good Husband of Zebra Drive (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) (Alexander McCall Smith)

In which Mr J L B Matekoni tries his hand as a detective, with mixed results.


Quotes:

we cannot always choose whose lives will become entangled with our own; these things happen to us, come to us uninvited, and Mma Ramotswe understood that well.

Their words of farewell were polite—the correct ones, as laid down in the old Botswana customs. Tsamaya sentlê: go well. To which the reply was, Sala sentlê: stay well; mere words, of course, but when meant, as now, so powerful.

Great feuds often need very few words to resolve them. Disputes, even between nations, between peoples, can be set to rest with simple acts of contrition and corresponding forgiveness, can so often be shown to be based on nothing much other than pride and misunderstanding, and the forgetting of the humanity of the other—and land, of course.

Nice cars have nice drivers; bad cars have bad drivers. A person’s gearbox revealed everything that you could want to know about that person, thought Mr J.L.B. Matekoni.

03 November 2012

The Order of Odd-Fish (James Kennedy)

This book is weird and awesome.


Quotes:

A giant cockroach had walked into the room,

Ken Kiang started an ambitious program to ensure that all underprivileged schoolchildren had “postmodern yet easy-to-manage” hairstyles.

A phone call from Ken Kiang had summoned his “Fleet of Fury.” Ken Kiang had engineered the planes himself—sleek, terrifying machines, bristling with spikes and weaponry, the kind of planes that left no doubt about how evil their commander was.

“HERE’S to villainy!” cried Ken Kiang, lifting his glass. “Here’s to wicked work well wrought! Here’s to outrage, injustice! Violence and venom! Marvelous murderers and cutthroat criminals! I embrace you all, brothers! I’m one of you now!”

“It’s a very honorable and pointless tradition,”

“Puttering, Muddling, and Mucking About: An Inquiry into Idleness. Quite well known in the field.”

Actually, the Belgian Prankster hung out at the Country Kitchen in Muscatine, Iowa.

ZZZ, a massive-headed Brazilian physicist.

“‘She is the Ichthala,’

“What you recognize, Jo, are just your little corners of the world. The real world, the total reality of the world, is a thousand times larger than that. What you had thought of as your world—and what people in Eldritch City think of as their world—are just small, disconnected bits of the actual entire world. According to my theory, there are thousands of these regions, all hidden from each other. Most of the world is still unexplored!”

“As an Odd-Fish, it is not my job to be right,” said Sir Oort. “It is my job to be wrong in new and exciting ways.”

Ken Kiang wasn’t a hero in the sense that he would, say, save a child from a fire—the very notion nauseated him—but he was a hero in that he was willing to stake everything on a hopeless gamble.

Fortunately, most people are not exposed to the temptations that destroy souls, and so they muddle through their small lives harmlessly, a little frustrated but more or less content, enjoying the humdrum happiness that is the lot of the common man.

Any idiot can fire a gun and kill someone. It takes real evil to ruin a soul.

“Having an enemy is a delicate art. It demands dedication and a certain style. If you handle it right, it can even be good for you.

“Your words are as empty as your sting, Sleeping Bee!” retorted Zam-Zam. “Your feast shall be of the ashes of defeat, and on those, you shall feast heartily! Your corpse shall be torn to bits by my thousand children, who shall raise each morsel to their mouths, chew your disgraced innards with contemptuous joy, and excrete them with a smirk! I have spoken!”

For Ken Kiang, it was never enough to win. It was the verve, the showmanship, above all the arrogant stunt that mattered—the crucial cherry on top that said, “Not only have I won, but I won with enough leisure to toss in this final, outrageous flourish.”

One of his languages was based on tasting patterns of spices, so that books were read by eating them, page by page;

The Belgian Prankster lounged in a booth, surrounded by fawning psychoanalysts.

Jo stopped. She didn’t know what she was feeling. It wasn’t fear or hatred or even disgust. It was a horrible tingle of joy.

“I’m Aznath, the Silver Kitten of Deceit.”

“Outstanding Schwenkmanship, old boy!” roared Colonel Korsakov, slapping Ken Kiang on the back. “Never knew you had it in you! A top-drawer Schwenkrider, eh? You must tell me your secret!”

Although a disgrace to Eldritch City in general, and the Order of Odd-Fish in particular, it will be noted the butlers all wore irreproachable ascots.”

Many times, Ken Kiang had heard the saying “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” It would be too tidy to say that for Ken Kiang, the road to heaven was paved with bad intentions. Still, his intentions had always been the worst; yet now he was as close to happiness as he was ever likely to get.

02 November 2012

The Geography of Bliss (Eric Weiner)

I liked this. It could have easily devolved into a series of national clichés (the British are glum, the Swiss are precise like their watches, etc). But Eric Weiner is a much better writer than that, he has extensive international pedigree, and genuinely cares about the people he meets in these different places. I recommend this one.


Quotes:

I’ve always believed that happiness is just around the corner. The trick is finding the right corner.

I had no marketable skills, a stunted sense of morality, and a gloomy disposition. I decided to become a journalist.

We humans are creatures of the last five minutes. In one study, people who found a dime on the pavement a few minutes before being queried on the happiness question reported higher levels of satisfaction with their overall lives than those who did not find a dime.

“When Americans say it was great, I know it was good. When they say it was good, I know it was okay. When they say it was okay, I know it was bad.”

Believe it or not, most people in the world say they are happy. Virtually every country in the world scores somewhere between five and eight on a ten-point scale.

Worst of all was Freud. While not technically a brooding philosopher, Freud did much to shape our views on happiness. He once said: “The intention that Man should be happy is not in the plan of Creation.” That is a remarkable statement, especially coming from a man whose ideas forged the foundation of our mental-health system.

Rusty handled a bong the way Yo-Yo Ma handles a cello.

A sense of calm sneaks up on me, a feeling so unusual that, at first, I am startled by it. I don’t recognize it. But there’s no denying its presence. I am at peace.

A lot of Switzerland works on the honor system, like the little rest huts that dot the Alps. There’s food inside. You eat the food and leave some money behind.

Or consider this statement: “In general, people can be trusted.” Studies have found that people who agree with this are happier than those who do not.

One study found that, of all the factors that affect the crime rate for a given area, the one that made the biggest difference was not the number of police patrols or anything like that but, rather, how many people you know within a fifteen-minute walk of your house.

Choice translates into happiness only when choice is about something that matters.

Karma pauses one of his pauses and then answers with a suggestion, a prescription. “You need to think about death for five minutes every day. It will cure you, sanitize you.”

Compromise is a skill, and like all skills it atrophies from lack of use.

All of the moments in my life, everyone I have met, every trip I have taken, every success I have enjoyed, every blunder I have made, every loss I have endured has been just right. I’m not saying they were all good or that they happened for a reason—I don’t buy that brand of pap fatalism—but they have been right. They have been . . . okay. As far as revelations go, it’s pretty lame, I know. Okay is not bliss, or even happiness. Okay is not the basis for a new religion or self-help movement. Okay won’t get me on Oprah. But okay is a start, and for that I am grateful.

When Ambition is your God, the office is your temple, the employee handbook your holy book. The sacred drink, coffee, is imbibed five times a day. When you worship Ambition, there is no Sabbath, no day of rest. Every day, you rise early and kneel before the God Ambition, facing in the direction of your PC. You pray alone, always alone, even though others may be present. Ambition is a vengeful God. He will smite those who fail to worship faithfully, but that is nothing compared to what He has in store for the faithful. They suffer the worst fate of all. For it is only when they are old and tired, entombed in the corner office, that the realization hits like a Biblical thunderclap. The God Ambition is a false God and always has been.

France’s most famous epicure, Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, believed that food is the mirror to our souls: “Tell me what you eat, and I’ll tell you what you are.”

I don’t believe in such miracles, but others do, and my life is richer as a result.

happiness is a choice. Not an easy choice, not always a desirable one, but a choice nonetheless.

As a rule of thumb, the more fucked-up a country, the more said country insists on crisp bills.

And what are the cultural ingredients needed for democracy to take root? Trust and tolerance. Not only trust of those inside your group—family, for instance—but external trust. Trust of strangers. Trust of your opponents, your enemies, even.

The Soviets denied God’s existence yet tried to improvize a spirituality.

“Not my problem” is not a philosophy. It’s a mental illness.

In Britain, finding out someone’s name isn’t pro forma. It’s an accomplishment.

dogs and gardens, the two pillars of English happiness. Especially dogs.

Maybe this is how enlightenment happens. Not with a thunderclap or a bolt of lightning but as a steady drip, drip, drip until one day you realize your bucket is full.

There it is again: that Hindu belief that all of life is maya, illusion. Once we see life as a game, no more consequential than a game of chess, then the world seems a lot lighter, a lot happier.

Paradise is a moving target.

only a fool or a philosopher would make sweeping generalizations about the nature of happiness. I am no philosopher, so here goes: Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude.

I wonder if happiness is really the highest good, as Aristotle believed. Maybe Guru-ji, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, is right. Maybe love is more important than happiness. Certainly, there are times when happiness seems beside the point. Ask a single, working mother if she is happy, and she’s likely to reply, “You’re not asking the right question.”

Karma Ura, the Bhutanese scholar and cancer survivor. “There is no such thing as personal happiness,” he told me. “Happiness is one hundred percent relational.”

27 October 2012

Blue Shoes and Happiness (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) (Alexander Mccall Smith)

Between sips of tea and meditations on morality, fleeting happiness is achieved via a pair of blue shoes.


Quotes:

It was better, she thought, to be a little bit bad in this life, and not too perfect.

“Keep your mouth shut,” he had written in The Principles of Private Detection. “Keep your mouth shut at all times, but at the same time encourage others to do precisely the opposite.”

Most problems could be diminished by the drinking of tea and the thinking through of things that could be done while tea was being drunk. And even if that did not solve problems, at least it could put them off for a little while, which we sometimes needed to do, we really did.

“Anybody can lose,” cautioned Mr J.L.B. Matekoni. “You need to remember that every time you win.” He thought of adding, and anybody can cry, even a man, but knew that this would be wasted on the apprentices.

I am a girl from Bobonong, she said to herself. I am a girl from Bobonong, with glasses. There was a man who was going to marry me, a kind man, but I frightened him away through my foolish talk. Now I am alone again. That is the story of my life; that is the story of Grace Makutsi.

Of course one could judge others, and Mma Ramotswe used the standards of the old Botswana morality to make these judgements. But there was nothing in the old Botswana morality which said that one could not forgive those who were weak; indeed, there was much in the old Botswana morality that was very specifically about forgiveness. One should not hold a grudge against another, it said, because to harbour grudges was to disturb the social peace, the bond between people.

And of course it was always difficult for Mma Ramotswe not to feel sympathy for another, however objectionable his conduct might be, however flawed his character, simply because she understood, at the most intuitive, profound level what it was to be a human being, which is not easy. Everybody, she felt, could do evil, so easily; could be weak, so easily; could be selfish, so easily.

The problem was that she had not been to the Botswana Secretarial College, where the motto, proudly displayed above the front entrance to the college, was Be Accurate. Unfortunately, there was a spelling mistake, and the motto read Be Acurate. Mma Makutsi had spotted this and had pointed it out to the college, but nothing had been done about it so far.

If I ever see God, she thought, I am sure that he will not be thin.

Evil, she thought. That is what I see. Evil. She had seen it only once or twice in her life, and on each occasion she had known it. Most human failings were no more than that—failings—but evil went beyond that.

Mma Ramotswe sat back in her chair. She put the pencil down. And she thought, How might I think if I were in this woman’s shoes? How do you think if you are so heartless as to blackmail those who are frightened and guilty? And the answer that came back to her was this: hate. Somewhere some wrong had been done, a wrong connected with who she was perhaps, a wrong which turned her to despair and to hate. And hate had made it possible for her to do all this.

06 October 2012

The Book of Craw: A Hobo's Testament (Companion Volume to "The Dirty Parts of the Bible") (Sam Torode)

Not much to say about this one. I got it from the author for free, which was nice. It's a collection of poems (some original) that might have inspired one of the characters of the book The Dirty Parts of the Bible.


04 October 2012

In the Company of Cheerful Ladies (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) (Alexander Mccall Smith)


Quotes:

But after a few minutes, as they watched Charlie walking quickly away in the direction of the town, they realised that something serious and potentially irremediable had happened. They saw before them the ruins of a career; the wrecking of a life.

Now he has decided that he can give everything up just because his rich lady is running after him in her Mercedes-Benz. Oh dear! Those cars have a lot to answer for.”

We are all human, all creatures of water and salt, all human.

People did not spend enough time sitting and talking, she thought, and it was important that sitting and talking time be preserved.

She had been too young then to stand up to him, and now, when she could do so, when she had the facts of her success with which to confront him, she felt only the same ancient fear, the fear which had made women through the ages cower before such men.

There was a way of walking in Johannesburg, a way of holding oneself, that was different from the way in which people did these things in Botswana. Johannesburg was a city of swagger, and that was something which people in Botswana would never do.

One might have all the things which the modern world offered, but what was the use of these if they destroyed all that which gave you strength and courage and pride in yourself and your country?

Mma Ramotswe was horrified when she read of people being described in the newspapers as consumers. That was a horrible, horrible word, which sounded rather too like cucumber, a vegetable for which she had little time. People were not just greedy consumers, grabbing everything that came their way, nor were they cucumbers for that matter; they were Batswana, they were people!

that is what redeems us, that is what makes our pain and sorrow bearable—this giving of love to others, this sharing of the heart.

30 September 2012

The Song of Songs -- A New Version (Sam Torode)

Sam Torode's verion of the Song of Songs, which was the inspiration for his book The Dirty Parts of the Bible is not a scholarly version, whatever that means, but it's pleasant to read and a document of the author's engagement with the ancient poem.


Quotes:

Love is an eternal fire— one spark will set you ablaze. Oceans can’t extinguish it, rivers can’t wash it away. If a man tried to buy love— even with all of his family’s wealth— he would be scorned, ridiculed.

23 September 2012

The Full Cupboard of Life (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) (Alexander McCall Smith)

Number 5 in the series, continues the development of the remarkable characters and their setting. By now I'm firmly addicted to this series, and i will miss it when i finish.


Quotes:

Why, she asked herself, why keep a wound open when forgiveness can close it?

He was a good man, which, when all is said and done, is the finest thing that you can say about any man. He was a good man.

“They will ruin cars left, right, and centre,” he said. “That is what will happen to them. There will be great sadness among the cars of Botswana.”

Mr J.L.B. Matekoni stood back respectfully. The revealing of an engine of this nature—an engine which was older than the Republic of Botswana itself—was a special moment, and he did not want to show unseemly curiosity as the beautiful piece of engineering was exposed to view.

“Yes,” said Mma Ramotswe. “We all know that it is women who take the decisions, but we have to let men think that the decisions are theirs. It is an act of kindness on the part of women.”

She approached him carefully, as one always should when coming across somebody reading the Bible,

But there was a great deal that people did not understand and would only learn through bitter experience. In her view, one of these things was the truth of the old African saying that it takes an entire village to raise a child. Of course it does; of course it does. Everybody in a village had a role to play in bringing up a child—and cherishing it—and in return that child would in due course feel responsible for everybody in that village. That is what makes life in society possible. We must love one another and help one another in our daily lives.

“Nkosi Sikeleli Afrika,” God Bless Africa, give her life, watch over her children.

15 September 2012

The Way of a Pilgrim; The Pilgrim Continues His Way (Russian)

It's my second reading of this book. I like it, not only for the strange (to my tradition) Orthodox prayer tradition, but by the captivating way it's exposed through Russian peasant stories.


Quotes:

By the grace of God I am a Christian, by my actions a great sinner, and by calling a homeless wanderer of the humblest birth who roams from place to place. My worldly goods are a knapsack with some dried bread in it on my back, and in my breast pocket a Bible. And that is all.

He was silent for a while and looked at me closely. Then he said, “Ceaseless interior prayer is a continual yearning of the human spirit towards God. To succeed in this consoling exercise, we must pray more often to God to teach us to pray without ceasing. Pray more, and pray more fervently. It is prayer itself which will reveal to you how it can be achieved unceasingly; but it will take some time.” So saying, he had food brought to me, gave me money for my journey and let me go. He did not explain the matter.

“The continuous interior Prayer of Jesus is a constant uninterrupted calling upon the divine Name of Jesus with the lips, in the spirit, in the heart while forming a mental picture of his constant presence and imploring his grace during every occupation, at all times, in all places, even during sleep. The appeal is couched in these terms, ‘Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.’

“Now I give you my permission to say your Prayer as often as you wish and as often as you can. Try to devote every moment you are awake to the Prayer, call on the Name of Jesus Christ without counting the number of times, and submit yourself humbly to the will of God, looking to him for help. I am sure

I gave up saying the Prayer with my lips. I simply listened carefully to what my heart was saying.

“If you do not understand the Word of God, the devils understand what you are reading and tremble,”

“The holy book is full of profound wisdom,” he was saying. “It is a secret treasury of the meaning of the hidden judgments of God. It is not everywhere and to everyone that it is accessible, but it does give to each such guidance as they need, to the wise, wise guidance, to the simple-minded, simple guidance.

Lord! what mysterious things humans are!

“Everyone has their own gift from God,” I answered. “There have been many preachers, Father, but there have also been many hermits.

a secret prayer lies hidden within the human heart. The individuals themselves do not know it, yet working mysteriously within their souls it urges them to prayer according to each one’s knowledge and power.

The Apostle says, “Pray without ceasing.” That is, he teaches us to have the remembrance of God in all times and places and circumstances. If you are making something you must call to mind the Creator of all things, if you see the light, remember the Giver of it, if you see the heavens and the earth and the sea and all that is in them, wonder and praise the Maker of them. If you put on your clothes, recall whose gift they are and thank the one who provides for your life. In short, let every action be a cause of your remembering and praising God, and lo! you will be praying without ceasing and therein your soul will always rejoice.’

“The trouble is that we live far from ourselves and have but little wish to get any nearer to ourselves. Indeed we are running away all the time to avoid coming face to face with our real selves and we barter the truth for trifles.

“The one who has attained to true prayer and love has no sense of the differences between things: they do not distinguish the righteous person from the sinner but love them all equally and judge nobody, as God causes the sun to shine and the rains to fall on the just and the unjust.”

“You have no right, friend,” said the starets, “to abuse and curse the Jews like this. God made them just as God made us. You should be sorry for them and pray for them not curse them. Believe me, the disgust you feel for them comes from the fact that you are not grounded in the love of God and have no interior prayer as a security and, therefore, no inward peace.

“Why, of course I know that Prayer. I used to say it sometimes to keep my courage up when I was going to do a robbery.”

Everything seems particularly desirable to us from a distance. But we all find out by experience that every place, though it may have its advantages, has its drawbacks too.

Therefore, when one happens to remember one's neighbor, or at the time appointed for doing so, it is well to bring a mental view of the neighbor into the Presence of God, and to offer a prayer in the following form: “Most merciful God, Thy will be done, which will have all persons to be saved and to come unto the knowledge of the truth, save and help thy servant N. Take this desire of mine as a cry of love which thou has commanded.”

04 September 2012

The Kalahari Typing School for Men: A No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Novel (4) (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) (Alexander McCall Smith)

I love this series.


Quotes:

Sins, thought Mma Ramotswe, are darker and more powerful when contemplated within confining walls. Out in the open, under such a sky as this, misdeeds were reduced to their natural proportions—small, mean things that could be faced quite openly, sorted, and folded away.

He felt weary. Life was a battle against wear; the wear of machinery and the wear of the soul. Oil. Grease. Wear.

He closed the door behind him, taking one last look at the pump. It was an old friend, in a way. No modern pump would look like that, with its wheel and its beautiful heavy casing; no modern pump would make a noise like the trumpeting of an elephant. This pump had come from far away and could be given back to the British now. Here is your pump, which you left in Africa. It is finished now.

“You don’t have to read a book to understand how the world works,” Mma Potokwani continued. “You just have to keep your eyes open.”

No, this was not a lie; it was an interpretation.

“That is somebody who comes to stay with us from time to time,” said Mrs. Moffat. “He writes books.”

02 September 2012

Morality for Beautiful Girls: A No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Novel (3) (Morality for Beautiful Girls (No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency) (Alexander Mccall Smith)

By now, I'm hopelessly addicted to this series!


Quotes:

It was a good thing to be an African. There were terrible things that happened in Africa, things that brought shame and despair when one thought about them, but that was not all there was in Africa. However great the suffering of the people of Africa, however harrowing the cruelty and chaos brought about by soldiers—small boys with guns, really—there was still so much in Africa from which one could take real pride. There was the kindness, for example, and the ability to smile, and the art and the music.

In her experience, when people began to behave out of character it was a sign that something was very wrong.

NOT EVERYBODY had a maid, of course, but if you were in a well-paid job and had a house of the size which Mma Ramotswe did, then not to employ a maid—or indeed not to support several domestic servants—would have been seen as selfishness.

That understanding, thought Mma Ramotswe, was the beginning of all morality. If you knew how a person was feeling, if you could imagine yourself in her position, then surely it would be impossible to inflict further pain. Inflicting pain in such circumstances would be like hurting oneself.

I am lucky, thought Mma Ramotswe. I am lucky that I can make somebody so happy just by saying something.

There were eight main tribes in Botswana—and some smaller ones—and although most younger people did not think these things should be too important, for the older generation they counted a great deal.

You can cultivate your mind, or you can cultivate your hairstyle. But you cannot do both.

Motlamedi was, quite simply, a bad girl. This description was very specific; it had nothing to do with bad women or bad ladies—they were quite different categories. Bad women were prostitutes; bad ladies were manipulative older ladies, usually married to older men, who interfered in the affairs of others for their own selfish ends. The expression bad girl, by contrast, referred to somebody who was usually rather younger (certainly under thirty) and whose interest was in having a good time.

“Do not be ashamed to cry, Rra,” said Mma Ramotswe. “It is the way that things begin to get better. It is the first step.”

29 August 2012

The Stars My Destination (Alfred Bester)

My friend Mike Perlowin considers this one of his favorite books.

It is very good classic SiFi, weird and ferocious.


Quotes:

Any man was capable of jaunting provided he developed two faculties, visualization and concentration. He had to visualize, completely and precisely, the spot to which he desired to teleport himself; and he had to concentrate the latent energy of his mind into a single thrust to get him there. Above all, he had to have faith...the faith that Charles Fort Jaunte never recovered. He had to believe he would jaunte. The slightest doubt would block the mind-thrust necessary for teleportation.

It was an age of freaks, monsters, and grotesques. All the world was misshapen in marvelous and malevolent ways.

“Scientifically mated,” Moira said proudly. She pulled up the sleeve of her nightgown and showed him her arm. It was disfigured by four ugly slashes. “I have been inoculated with something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.”

a gold organ with robot organist by Tiffany,

“The Burning Man! Look! The Burning Man!”

Revenge is for dreams…never for reality.”

“Sensible, matter-of-fact, like good businessmen who’ve had bad luck,” Sheffield answered promptly. “That’s the usual attitude of the professional criminal. It’s obvious you’re an amateur, if you’re a criminal at all.

But I’m not a robot. I’m a freak of the universe...a thinking animal...and I’m trying to see my way clear through this morass.

“Because you’re alive, sir. You might as well ask: Why is life? Don’t ask about it. Live it.”

“I believe,” he thought. “I have faith.” He jaunted again and failed again. “Faith in what?” he asked himself, adrift in limbo. “Faith in faith,” he answered himself. “It isn’t necessary to have something to believe in. It’s only necessary to believe that somewhere there’s something worthy of belief.”

Bear In Love (Daniel Pinkwater)

Very cute, very good, as good as the best other Pinkwater picture books, really.


Quotes:

“You are some cute little bear.”
“And you are quite the big strong bunny."

27 August 2012

Rock Springs (Richard Ford)

In the stories of this collection, emotionally damaged characters cope with impossible odds by enduring and staying: "Things can be fixed by staying; but to go out into the night and not come back hazards life, and everything can get out of hand."

Thanks, Dale Wisely, for giving me this book.


Quotes:

This is not a happy story. I warn you.

Things can be fixed by staying; but to go out into the night and not come back hazards life, and everything can get out of hand.

This was not going to be a good day in Bobby’s life, that was clear, because he was headed to jail.

And I thought Claude was a fool then, and this was how you knew what a fool was— someone who didn’t know what mattered to him in the long run.

But when you are older, nothing you did when you were young matters at all. I know that now, though I didn’t know it then. We were simply young.

The woman smelled like marijuana. It was a smell he liked, but it made him nervous. He wondered what the Army people would think. Being in the Army was a business now. Businessmen didn’t smoke dope.

Things you do pass away and are gone, and you need only to outlive them for your life to be better, steadily better.

Trouble comes cheap and leaves expensive,

Each of us had done something that night. Something different. That was plain enough. And there was nothing more to talk about.

Or maybe she thought this: that people can do the worst things they are capable of doing and in the end the world comes back to normal.

I began to date my real life from that moment and that thought. It is this: that situations have possibilities in them, and we have only to be present to be involved. Tonight was a very bad one. But how were we to know it would turn out this way until it was too late and we had all been changed forever?

24 August 2012

An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith (Barbara Brown Taylor)

Not so much a sequel to Leaving Church, but a reflection on spiritual practices, grounded in auto-biography. Excellent.


Quotes:

People seem willing to look all over the place for this treasure. They will spend hours launching prayers into the heavens. They will travel halfway around the world to visit a monastery in India or to take part in a mission trip to Belize. The last place most people look is right under their feet, in the everyday activities, accidents, and encounters of their lives. What possible spiritual significance could a trip to the grocery store have? How could something as common as a toothache be a door to greater life?

I learned reverence from my father. For him, it had nothing to do with religion and very little to do with God. I think it may have had something to do with his having been a soldier, since the exercise of reverence generally includes knowing your rank in the overall scheme of things.

Reverence for creation comes fairly easily for most people. Reverence for other people presents more of a challenge, especially if those people’s lives happen to impinge upon your own.

I saw what dies so that I may live, and while I did not stop eating chicken meat, I began cooking it and eating it with unprecedented reverence.

Whether you are sick or well, lovely or irregular, there comes a time when it is vitally important for your spiritual health to drop your clothes, look in the mirror, and say, “Here I am. This is the body-like-no-other that my life has shaped. I live here. This is my soul’s address.”

every spiritual practice begins with the body.

“Do this,” he said—not believe this but do this—“in remembrance of me.”

NOT EVERYONE is able to walk, but most people can, which makes walking one of the most easily available spiritual practices of all.

I mean God loves bodies. I mean that in some way that defies all understanding, God means to welcome risen bodies and not just disembodied souls to heaven’s banquet table. The resurrection of the dead is the radical insistence that matter matters to God.

Popular religion focuses so hard on spiritual success that most of us do not know the first thing about the spiritual fruits of failure.

Anything can become a spiritual practice once you are willing to approach it that way—once you let it bring you to your knees and show you what is real, including who you really are, who other people are, and how near God can be when you have lost your way.

It can be difficult to be an introvert in church, especially if you happen to be the pastor.

“We have just enough religion to make us hate one another,” Jonathan Swift once observed, “but not enough to make us love one another.”

“The supreme religious challenge,” says Rabbi Sacks, “is to see God’s image in one who is not in our image,” 10 for only then can we see past our own reflections in the mirror to the God we did not make up.

The moment I turn that person into a character in my own story, the encounter is over. I have stopped being a human being and have become a fiction writer instead.

Earlier in my life, I thought there was one particular thing I was supposed to do with my life. I thought that God had a purpose for me and my main job was to discover what it was.
...
“Do anything that pleases you,” the voice in my head said again, “and belong to me.”

While the world deeply needs people who will punch cash registers, enter data, empty bedpans, and take household garbage to the dump, these purposes are too small for most human beings.

And yet meaningful work is hard to come by. Not everyone can teach school or cure illness. Plenty of us do not get the kind of work we want, and plenty more can find it difficult to stay focused on the meaning of what we are doing.

In Buddhist teaching, right livelihood is one of the flagstones on the Noble Eightfold Path. Along with right speech, right intention, right action, and right effort, right livelihood is a key step in waking up to the true nature of reality, which includes the true nature of you.

The inherited wisdom is that certain kinds of work are bad for you. Being a hired killer is not so good, for instance. Neither is selling drugs, arms, or sex. The basic principle is to do no harm. Beyond that, you are free to do quite a lot of things for a living, but they are not all going to come with their own evident purposes. Supplying that purpose is going to be up to you.

while my chosen vocation gave me a really good job in the divine work of creation, it remained a subset of a larger vocation, which was the job of loving God and neighbor as myself.

work as spiritual practice,

Work connects us to other people.

Any worker with a good imagination should be able to come up with hundreds of people whom his or her work affects.

Yet it is always possible that one’s true work in the world is not what one does for a living.

In a world where the paid work that people do does not always feed their hearts, it seems important to leave open the possibility that our vocations may turn out to be things we do for free.

ONE COMMON PROBLEM for people who believe that God has one particular job in mind for them is that it is almost never the job they are presently doing. This means that those who are busiest trying to figure out God’s purpose for their lives are often the least purposeful about the work they are already doing.

The point is to find something that feeds your sense of purpose, and to be willing to look low for that purpose as well as high.

Some busy people cannot even tell the difference between relaxation and narcolepsy, because the minute they sit down in a quiet place alone, they nod off.

On day three, I decided that a power outage would make a great spiritual practice. Never mind giving up meat or booze for Lent. For a taste of real self-denial, just turn off the power for a while and see if phrases such as “the power of God” and “the light of Christ” sound any different to you.

Pain makes theologians of us all.

I am a failure at prayer.

I do not know anyone who prays very long without running into the wall of God’s apparent nonresponsiveness.

“If you ask anything in my name, I will do it,” Jesus says in the gospel of John, leaving a lot of us wondering what it is about “in my name” that we do not understand.

The problem, I think, is that divine response to prayer is one of those beauties that remain in the eye of the beholder.

The plan is to replace approval with gratitude. The plan is to take what is as God’s ongoing answer to me.

At the same time, I am aware that prayer is more than something I do. The longer I practice prayer, the more I think it is something that is always happening, like a radio wave that carries music through the air whether I tune in to it or not. This is hard to talk about, which is why prayer is a practice and not a discussion topic.

To pronounce a blessing on something, it is important to see it as it is.

Not many people know it, but both Martin Luther and Julian of Norwich did some of their best thinking on the toilet.

God has no hands but ours, no bread but the bread we bake, no prayers but the ones we make, whether we know what we are doing or not.

for reasons beyond anyone’s understanding, God has decided to be made known in flesh. Matter matters to God. The most ordinary things are drenched in divine possibility. Pronouncing blessings upon them is the least we can do.

So I end where I began, at the wedding of spirit and flesh, practicing reverence with the living and the dead. I hope you can think of a dozen chapters I left out of this book. I hope you can think of at least that many more ways to celebrate your own priesthood, practiced at the altar of your own life.

23 August 2012

The Mysterious Benedict Society - The Prisoner's Dilemma (Trenton Lee Stuart)

The final book of the series, wasn't as exciting as the previous two. But it brings things adequately to a conclusion. I kept expecting the "prisoner's dilemma" to become part of the story, and apparently it never did!


18 August 2012

Tears of the Giraffe: A No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency Novel (2) (The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) (Alexander Mccall Smith)

I'm now addicted to this series. It moves forward on the strength of its characters, the most important of which is the idealized Africa of Botswana.


Quotes:

In Mma Ramotswe’s view there was God, Modimo, who lived in the sky, more or less directly above Africa. God was extremely understanding, particularly of people like herself, but to break his rules, as so many people did with complete disregard, was to invite retribution. When they died, good people, such as Mma Ramotswe’s father, Obed Ramotswe, were undoubtedly welcomed by God. The fate of the others was unclear, but they were sent to some terrible place—perhaps a bit like Nigeria, she thought—and when they acknowledged their wrongdoing they would be forgiven.

“If you have been feeding him so well, then why is he thin? A man who is well looked-after becomes fatter. They are just like cattle. That is well-known.”

FOR A few moments after her visitor had finished her story, Mma Ramotswe sat in silence. What could she do for this woman? Could she find anything out if the Botswana Police and the American Embassy had tried and failed? There was probably nothing she could do, and yet this woman needed help and if she could not obtain it from the No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency then where would she be able to find it? “I shall help you,” she said, adding, “my sister.”

In traditional society there was no such thing as an unwanted child; everybody would be looked after by somebody. But things were changing, and now there were orphans.

A mechanic should be like a priest. He should not talk about what he sees.”

This is what Africa could say to the world: it could remind it what it is to be human.

The Americans were very clever; they sent rockets into space and invented machines which could think more quickly than any human being alive, but all this cleverness could also make them blind. They did not understand other people. They thought that everyone looked at things in the same way as Americans did, but they were wrong.

Mma Ramotse shrugged; she had never thought about it. “I suppose that it means that we can all give something,” she said. “A giraffe has nothing else to give—only tears.”

11 August 2012

2BR02B (Kurt Vonnegut)

A short story by Vonnegut; a typical anti-utopia based on the control of population growth. Sad and fatalistic. The title refers to the phone number of a suicide hotline, and it reads as "to be or not to be" (get it?). Dreary, but it's still Vonnegut.


Quotes:

The painter pondered the mournful puzzle of life demanding to be born and, once born, demanding to be fruitful ... to multiply and to live as long as possible—to do all that on a very small planet that would have to last forever. All the answers that the painter could think of were grim.

06 August 2012

Zone One (Colson Whitehead)

Another "art" writer tackling a pop culture theme, similar to what happened with The Last Wherewolf. This is a very well written book. A little slow in the first two thirds, it picks momentum as it moves towards the end. Whitehead makes this more than a standard "shoot'em in the head" zombie story by turning it into a metaphor of 21st century life in New York City. It also invites the reader to decide who are the real monsters: the zombies, the equally carnivorous (and also cynical) government, or the zombie hunters. In the end, zombies and humans are just trying to survive. The book's contribution to the zombie fauna is the "straggler": the zombie who has become immobilized, mysteriously frozen into repeating one single gesture of his or her previous life. Very haunting.

This invites comparison with the other zombie book i read recently: World War Z. They both try to deal realistically with the impossible problem of how to dispose of the enormous amount of leftover zombie "biomass" after a zombie calamity, but Zone One is shorter, better written, and it refreshingly avoids indulging on the American military fetish.


Quotes:

Their lives had been an interminable loop of repeated gestures; now their existences were winnowed to this discrete and eternal moment.

PASD, or Post-Apocalyptic Stress Disorder.

New York City in death was very much like New York City in life. It was still hard to get a cab, for example. The main difference was that there were fewer people.

Bring out your dead.

That’s the way we’ve always done it. It’s what this country was built on. The plague merely made it more literal, spelled it out in case you didn’t get it before.

“Stop! Can You Hear the Eagle Roar? (Theme from Reconstruction),”

At their core, Last Night stories were all the same: They came, we died, I started running.

He stopped hooking up with other people once he realized the first thing he did was calculate whether or not he could outrun them.

He’d never met anyone in the camps or the great out there who had made it out of the city after the first couple of days. They left the doors unlocked.

Beauty could not thrive, and the awful was too commonplace to be of consequence. Only in the middle was there safety.

Mustn’t humanize them. The whole thing breaks down unless you are fundamentally sure that they are not you.

He’d always seen himself in them, the robots who roved the galaxy in search of the emotion chip, the tentacled things that were, beneath their mottled, puckered membranes, more human than the murderous villagers who hunted them for their difference.

She’d become partial to cachaça after a six-month thing with a Brazilian guy whose constant referencing of his nationality was a cornerstone of his personality,

We never see other people anyway, only the monsters we make of them.

“You know why they walk around? They walk around because they’re too stupid to know they’re dead.”

25 July 2012

Reckless (Cornelia Funke)

Exciting and well written, especially intriguing in the way the "real world" and "fantasy world" interact and influence each other through the exchange of ideas and technology. Good ending, leaving the history open to a sequel but without an annoying cliffhanger.


Quotes:

The first item he took out of the chest was a handkerchief made of simple linen, but when it was rubbed between two fingers, it reliably produced one or two gold sovereigns. Jacob had received it years earlier from a Witch in exchange for a kiss that had burned his lips for weeks. The other items he packed into his knapsack looked just as innocuous: a silver snuffbox, a brass key, a tin plate, and a small bottle made of green glass. Each of these items had saved his life on more than one occasion.

So what does that teach you, Jacob Reckless? he wondered as the first Dwarf dwellings appeared among the fields and hedgerows. That, on the whole, revenge is not such a great idea.

24 July 2012

20000 Leagues Under the Seas (Jules Verne)

Read with Laura. Awesome. In as much as it is dated in some things, and the battle with the cachalots is just wrong :-), it's still as exciting to read this now as when i first read it in Brasil, as a kid.


Quotes:

Initially, Verne’s narrative was influenced by the 1863 uprising of Poland against Tsarist Russia. The Poles were quashed with a violence that appalled not only Verne but all Europe. As originally conceived, Verne’s Captain Nemo was a Polish nobleman whose entire family had been slaughtered by Russian troops. Nemo builds a fabulous futuristic submarine, the Nautilus, then conducts an underwater campaign of vengeance against his imperialist oppressor.

“The deepest parts of the ocean are totally unknown to us. No soundings have been able to reach them. What goes on in those distant depths? What creatures inhabit, or could inhabit, those regions twelve or fifteen miles beneath the surface of the water?

“Then we’re done for!” “Perhaps,” Conseil replied serenely. “However, we still have a few hours before us, and in a few hours one can do a great many things!”

“You love the sea, Captain.” “Yes, I love it! The sea is the be all and end all! It covers seven-tenths of the planet earth. Its breath is clean and healthy. It’s an immense wilderness where a man is never lonely, because he feels life astir on every side. The sea is simply the vehicle for a prodigious, unearthly mode of existence; it’s simply movement and love; it’s living infinity, as one of your poets put it.

I thanked Captain Nemo and approached the shelves of this library. Written in every language, books on science, ethics, and literature were there in abundance, but I didn’t see a single work on economics—they seemed to be strictly banned on board.

“Nautron respoc lorni virch.”

“Professor, when I proposed that you go hunting in my Crespo forests, you thought I was contradicting myself. When I informed you that it was an issue of underwater forests, you thought I’d gone insane. Professor, you must never make snap judgments about your fellow man.”

“The earth doesn’t need new continents, but new men!”

That day it was yuletide, and it struck me that Ned Land badly missed celebrating “Christmas,” that genuine family holiday where Protestants are such zealots.

On January 13, arriving in the Timor Sea, Captain Nemo raised the island of that name at longitude 122°. This island, whose surface area measures 1,625 square leagues, is governed by rajahs. These aristocrats deem themselves the sons of crocodiles, in other words, descendants with the most exalted origins to which a human being can lay claim. Accordingly, their scaly ancestors infest the island’s rivers and are the subjects of special veneration. They are sheltered, nurtured, flattered, pampered, and offered a ritual diet of nubile maidens; and woe to the foreigner who lifts a finger against these sacred saurians.

If you’re invited to hunt bears in the Swiss mountains, you might say: “Oh good, I get to go bear hunting tomorrow!” If you’re invited to hunt lions on the Atlas plains or tigers in the jungles of India, you might say: “Ha! Now’s my chance to hunt lions and tigers!” But if you’re invited to hunt sharks in their native element, you might want to think it over before accepting.

“That Indian, professor, lives in the land of the oppressed, and I am to this day, and will be until my last breath, a native of that same land!”

If this is the case and Captain Nemo still inhabits the ocean—his adopted country—may the hate be appeased in that fierce heart! May the contemplation of so many wonders extinguish the spirit of vengeance in him! May the executioner pass away, and the scientist continue his peaceful exploration of the seas! If his destiny is strange, it’s also sublime.

Thus to that question asked 6,000 years ago in the Book of Ecclesiastes—“Who can fathom the soundless depths?”—two men out of all humanity have now earned the right to reply. Captain Nemo and I.

14 July 2012

A Visit from the Goon Squad (Jennifer Egan)

Wonderfully written, a punk-rock novel of many intertwined lives, with lots of mistakes, growing up, and some redemption thrown in. It's probably good enough that even people who don't like music will like the book.

Read in Glen Arbor, MI


Quotes:

It began the usual way,

“Don’t you get it, Steph?” Bosco finally exploded. “That’s the whole point. We know the outcome, but we don’t know when, or where, or who will be there when it finally happens. It’s a Suicide Tour.”

Time’s a goon, right?

It was several weeks before the general’s picture appeared again. Now the hat was pushed back and the ties were gone. The headline read: EXTENT OF B’S WAR CRIMES MAY BE EXAGGERATED, NEW EVIDENCE SHOWS It was the hat. He looked sweet in the hat. How could a man in a fuzzy blue hat have used human bones to pave his roads?

Word had gotten out, and Dolly was deluged with offers of work from mass murderers hungry for a fresh start.

“That wasn’t me, in Naples,” she told you, looking out at the crowded bar. “I don’t know who it was. I feel sorry for her.”

“We’re going to meet again in a different place,” Bix says. “Everyone we’ve lost, we’ll find. Or they’ll find us.”

Because he never could quite forget that every byte of information he’d posted online (favorite color, vegetable, sexual position) was stored in the databases of multinationals who swore they would never, ever use it—that he was owned, in other words, having sold himself unthinkingly at the very point in his life when he’d felt most subversive?

Her confidence seemed more drastic than the outcome of a happy childhood; it was cellular confidence, as if Lulu were a queen in disguise, without need or wish to be recognized.

“I’m fine. I just get tired of talking.” “Ditto,” Alex said. He felt exhausted. “There are so many ways to go wrong,” Lulu said. “All we’ve got are metaphors, and they’re never exactly right. You can’t ever just Say. The. Thing.”

Rebecca was an academic star. Her new book was on the phenomenon of word casings, a term she’d invented for words that no longer had meaning outside quotation marks. English was full of these empty words—“friend” and “real” and “story” and “change”—words that had been shucked of their meanings and reduced to husks. Some, like “identity,” “search,” and “cloud,” had clearly been drained of life by their Web usage. With others, the reasons were more complex; how had “American” become an ironic term? How had “democracy” come to be used in an arch, mocking way?

Or it may be that two generations of war and surveillance had left people craving the embodiment of their own unease in the form of a lone, unsteady man on a slide guitar. Whatever

Or it may be that two generations of war and surveillance had left people craving the embodiment of their own unease in the form of a lone, unsteady man on a slide guitar.

They resumed walking. Alex felt an ache in his eyes and throat. “I don’t know what happened to me,” he said, shaking his head. “I honestly don’t.” Bennie glanced at him, a middle-aged man with chaotic silver hair and thoughtful eyes. “You grew up, Alex,” he said, “just like the rest of us.”

th blu nyt
th stRs u cant c
th hum tht nevr gOs awy

A sound of clicking heels on the pavement punctured the quiet. Alex snapped open his eyes, and he and Bennie both turned—whirled, really, peering for Sasha in the ashy dark. But it was another girl, young and new to the city, fiddling with her keys.

10 July 2012

The Tiger (John Vaillant)

Fascinating and exciting ecological thriller, set in an area of the world that is so remote that it might as well be another planet. My only complaint is that the author spends way too many paragraphs telling and explaining just how messed up Russia is. I felt like saying "i get it! Russia is messed up! can we talk about tigers now?"

Read in Glen Arbor, MI


Quotes:

Between 1992 and 1994, approximately one hundred tigers—roughly one quarter of the country’s wild population—were killed.

In his professional capacity as senior inspector for Inspection Tiger, Trush acted as a medium between the Law of the Jungle and the Law of the State;

Tigers go by several different names here, and one of them is Toyota—because, during the 1990s, that is what you could buy with one.

After studying the files of Stalin’s political prisoners, historian Roy Medvedev concluded that 200,000 people were imprisoned for telling jokes.

In 2008, nineteen of the world’s one hundred richest people were Russians.

Ongoing in the debate about our origins and our nature is the question of how we became fascinated by monsters, but only certain kinds. The existence of this book alone is a case in point. No one would read it if it were about a pig or a moose (or even a person) who attacked unemployed loggers. Tigers, on the other hand, get our full attention.

“Optimists study English; pessimists study Chinese; and realists learn to use a Kalashnikov.”

Jewish Autonomous Region, a little known creation of Stalin’s intended to serve, oxymoronically, as a Soviet Zion for Russian Jews.

At the beginning of the last century, it is estimated that there were more than 75,000 tigers living in Asia. Today, you would never know; within the fragile envelope of a single human memory 95 percent of those animals have been killed—for sport, for beauty, for medicine, for money, for territory, and for revenge.

On a daily basis, Trush manifests the verity that faith is a physical act.

08 July 2012

Leaving Church (Barbara Brown Taylor)

A beautifully written autobiography that rings true.


Quotes:

This is not the life I planned or the life I recommend to others. But it is the life that has turned out to be mine, and the central revelation in it for me—that the call to serve God is first and last the call to be fully human—seems important enough to witness to on paper. This book is my attempt to do that.

Like every believer I know, my search for real life has led me through at least three distinct seasons of faith, not once or twice but over and over again. Jesus called them finding life, losing life, and finding life again, with the paradoxical promise that finders will be losers while those who lose their lives for his sake will wind up finding them again.

“If we don’t leave the city, I’m going to die sooner than I have to.”

As one of four priests in a big downtown parish, I was engaged in work so meaningful that there was no place to stop.

The effort to untangle the human words from the divine seems not only futile to me but also unnecessary, since God works with what is.

If I had been born in another time and place, I might have headed to a convent or to a small beehive-shaped hut made of stone on a holy island. I might even have found a shaman to lead me deeper into the mysteries. In my own time and place, I was not aware of so many options. When I put my strong sense of the Divine Presence together with my irresistible urge to help hurt things, seminary kept coming up as the next stop on my map.

being ordained is not about serving God perfectly but about serving God visibly, allowing other people to learn whatever they can from watching you rise and fall.

“Think hard before you do this,” one said to me when I told him I wanted to be ordained. “Right now, you have the broadest ministry imaginable. As a layperson, you can serve God no matter what you do for a living, and you can reach out to people who will never set foot inside a church. Once you are ordained, that is going to change. Every layer of responsibility you add is going to narrow your ministry, so think hard before you choose a smaller box.”

Sometimes, when people were busy adoring me or despising me, I got the distinct impression that it was not about me at all. I reminded them of someone else who was no longer around but who had made such a large dent in their lives that they were still trying to work it out.

“Eating forbidden fruit makes many jams,” read one church sign. “Give Satan an inch and he will become your ruler,” read another.

Because this is a love story, it is difficult to say what went wrong between the Church and me. On the one hand, it was the best of parish ministry that did me in.

On the other hand, there was a definite hardening taking place, not only at Grace-Calvary but at every church I knew. The presenting issue was human sexuality. While the Episcopal Church had gladly received the ministry of gay and lesbian people for as long as anyone could remember, it had done so without blessing the “gay and lesbian” part. The unspoken deal was that the ministry could continue as long as the sexuality stayed under cover.

As a general rule, I would say that human beings never behave more badly toward one another than when they believe they are protecting God.

Because church people tend to think they should not fight, most of them are really bad at it.

Once I had begun crying on a regular basis, I realized just how little interest I had in defending Christian beliefs.

The parts of the Christian story that had drawn me into the Church were not the believing parts but the beholding parts. “Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy…” “Behold the Lamb of God…” “Behold, I stand at the door and knock…”

If it is true that God exceeds all our efforts to contain God, then is it too big a stretch to declare that dumbfoundedness is what all Christians have most in common? Or that coming together to confess all that we do not know is at least as sacred an activity as declaring what we think we do know?

By my rules, caring for troubled people always took precedence over enjoying delightful people, and the line of troubled people never ended. Sitting there with corn stuck between my teeth, I wondered why I had not changed that rule sooner.

Remember the Sabbath, the rabbis say, and you fulfill all of Torah.

A man standing in line with me at a grocery store in Atlanta once asked me if I were headed to a costume party as a cross-dressing priest.

In Clarkesville, the collar had a more sobering effect, especially among church members. When people saw it in public, they shifted from normal gear into the most reverent gear they could find.

“The people you think love you don’t love you as much as you think they love you,” Frank said to me, “and the people you think hate you don’t hate you as much as you think they hate you.”

my soul did not operate on a solar calendar. My soul operated on a lunar calendar, coming up at a different time every night and never looking the same way two nights in a row.

As Christians, we were especially vulnerable, since our faith turned on the story of a divine human being.

We needed a different way of being together before God, shaped more like a circle than a pyramid. We needed to ditch the sheep paradigm. We needed to take turns filling in for Jesus, understanding that none of us was equal to the task to which all of us had been called. We needed to share the power.

The second thing that happened when I lost my power was that I got a taste of the spiritual poverty that is central to the Christ path.

With so much effort being poured into church growth, so much press being given to the benefits of faith, and so much flexing of religious muscle in the public square, the poor in spirit have no one but Jesus to call them blessed anymore.

Gradually I remembered what I had known all along, which is that church is not a stopping place but a starting place for discerning God’s presence in this world. By offering people a place where they may engage the steady practice of listening to divine words and celebrating divine sacraments, church can help people gain a feel for how God shows up—not only in Holy Bibles and Holy Communion but also in near neighbors, mysterious strangers, sliced bread, and grocery store wine. That way, when they leave church, they no more leave God than God leaves them. They simply carry what they have learned into the wide, wide world, where there is a crying need for people who will recognize the holiness in things and hold them up to God.

Although I never found a church where I felt completely at home again, I made a new home in the world. I renewed my membership in the priesthood of all believers, who may not have as much power as we would like, but whose consolation prize is the freedom to meet God after work, well away from all centers of religious command, wherever God shows up.

He was so immersed in the life of the Church, he said, that he occasionally forgot that the life of faith was not always the same thing.

I had arrived at an understanding of faith that had far more to do with trust than with certainty.

It’s only wilderness if there’s something out there that can eat you.”

Once I understood that the gospel writers had not told me the whole truth about the Pharisees, I wondered what else they had not told me. Once I noticed that Luke said things about Paul that Paul denied, I wondered what other quarrels Luke had hidden from my view.

I felt like someone who had strolled into the feeding of the five thousand on a casual walk around the lake.

A priest is a priest, no matter where she happens to be. Her job is to recognize the holiness in things and hold them up to God. Her job is to speak in ways that help other people recognize the holiness in things too.

My priesthood was not what I did but who I was. In this new light, nothing was wasted. All that had gone before was blessing, and all yet to come was more.

the central truth of the Christian gospel: life springs from death, not only at the last but also in the many little deaths along the way. When everything you count on for protection has failed, the Divine Presence does not fail. The hands are still there—not promising to rescue, not promising to intervene—promising only to hold you no matter how far you fall.

28 June 2012

The Summer Book (Tove Jansson)

Beatufiful, joyful and melancholy, a work of art. Very much like a Moomin story with a human cast.


Quotes:

"Isn't that funny," Grandmother said. "It's only my heart, it's not a herring boat at all." For a long time she wondered if she should go back to bed or stay where she was. She guessed she would stay for a while.

The Newlyweds (Nell Freudenberger)

Heartbreakingly well written, this book will speak to anyone who is an immigrant, or has married one, or both. An exploration of the loneliness of our lives, what we do to cope, and the unpredictable consequences of our dreams. This one sits right there with The Namesake as one of the best books i've ever read about the immigrant life.


Quotes:

Someone who is closer than a mother is called a witch.

Have you ever noticed that—the way the best and the worst things in your life can be all twisted up, so you couldn’t have done one without the other?”

Here was something she had noticed about God. He often granted one prayer when you were making another or gave you something you’d asked for in the past, long after you had stopped wanting it.

A lot of the things she’d heard about America had turned out not to be true: teenagers did not have sex in public; the majority of black people were not criminals (George had several black colleagues at TCE); and although most American women had jobs, there were also some like Annie Snyder who stayed at home with their children. Amina had wondered if the perversely named old-age “homes” would turn out to be a similar sort of myth, but George had confirmed their existence.

There were several paths to everything, and some of them were hidden when you started out. Her mother would say that God created those paths, but to Amina it seemed as if the paths were there; it was only that you needed God to help you find them.

All of George’s arguments about her parents’ happiness made sense, and at the same time they were completely beside the point. She was here, and so this was where they had to be.

According to Ghaniyah’s Femina magazine, she was no longer a newlywed, but the goals that she’d set for her first three years in Rochester seemed very distant.

Amina knew she was a different person in Bangla than she was English; she noticed the change every time she switched languages on the phone.

she knew what it was to feel that you would never become fully adult in the country where you lived, would never understand the jokes or master the graces that came so naturally to everyone around you.

Sarcasm had been the hardest thing to get in English; it had taken her at least a year to catch that tone in George’s voice that meant he was saying the opposite of what his words suggested.

Communication was supposed to be the secret to a successful marriage, but she sometimes thought things had been better between them when they’d understood each other less.

Amina had the strange feeling of being grateful to a person she had only a few moments ago wanted to strangle.

She thought he’d succeeded not out of any deviousness, but because he was the type of person whom God willed to be successful. Others were not meant to be so. It didn’t mean that God loved them any less, but the world couldn’t be full of only one type. The sooner you knew which type you were—and which were the people in your family—the sooner you could accept your lot and be happy.

It occurred to Amina that she was looking at this field the way George would, as if she had a camera, and that was what made it (an ordinary field of dal, dull green under midafternoon clouds) so beautiful.

That was the hardest thing about marriage, she thought—how could you continue to be kind, once you knew all of another person’s secrets?

What had George said that day, about her and her inflexible plans? She’d thought he wasn’t being fair, that he couldn’t understand her, but was it possible he’d been right after all?

When she’d gone alone, she’d been able to adapt, and because she had no one to talk to about the things that were shocking or offensive or odd, they’d slowly grown to seem less so. But with three of them there, it would be different.

"I believe that it is only by sharing our stories that we truly become one community." (Kim)